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How does this work...

I have a nine month old baby girl and I'm trying to work this whole co parent thing with her dad this is his first baby and all he like to do is make arguments out of anything.
But one thing I'm having difficulty getting round is her saying to everyone I'm neglecting her because she not crawling or sitting I've told him babies development at different times she's doing fine but nope he's not happy with this. He's also saying I don't change her clothes which she is change one maybe twice a day not including after her bath.
So last week Tuesday he has his visitation which is 3 hours and he wants to take her shopping for some clothes bear in mind that day was so hot. I pick her up at 2pm before collecting my other 2 kids and he has her dressed in new clothes and it's a tracksuit a thick tracksuit and he's put socks on her she is wrapped in a blanket with her pram snuggly on top of that. The other two pairs of clothes are pj's thick ones too.
When I tell you my baby was sweating and red I stripped her down right there and put the dress I had spare in her bag.
Now for a guy who claims to have done 3 paid online courses on how to look after a baby and has a big family.
Am I over reacting to say he's a bloody idiot who doesn't care about his baby only for what he wants like really.
When I got her home she drank so much but she is fine.
Anytime I try give him a bit advice to help him I'm a manipulative person I'm a narcissist and mentally controling. I just want what's best for my daughter and this just isn't it at all he's been seeing her 6 months now
MiraRoss
31-35, F
39 replies 215 views Sep 21, 2024
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SeaGlass · F
Supervised visits!

Oh, my gosh this gives me massive anxiety. I don't want to mention my worst fear... don't want to put it out there. Thank goodness you see he's not prepared to be a parent, at least not without another adult around, omg
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Sep 21, 2024
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MiraRoss · 31-35, F
@SeaGlass as many situations especially if he's getting agitated he could shake her to her next life and yes she could of ended up in hospital if he had longer with her.
I found out after all this time him seeing her he wants a dna test doing. He's doing all this to piss me off make me mentally unstable but it's not gonna work I'm much stronger than I use to be
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Sep 21, 2024
SeaGlass · F
@MiraRoss Yes, you said it... and even if you warn him of what it could bring, he obviously doesn't listen about her. One day in the future he might be more capable, but she's so vulnerable right now. I'd get the test, I'd refuse to let her be alone with him and try to document every time he ditches the 3rd party. I'd not be able to not show up if I knew he was alone with her at her age now. I'm glad you're not letting him distract you into anger. That's so important
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Sep 21, 2024 · Edited: 2 mths ago
inaccessible · 51-55, M
That dude is not right, we men normally panic when we're forced to run matters for little babies, we try to avoide that, at least until the age where they "sit" when we tell them to. We do have an observing eye that enables us to notice things and make remarks (lots of remarks sometimes) but we're not programed to take the lead in that department.

Here's a naive suggestion out of ignorance for you, try for the sake of the baby and your mental health to make his mom look into this matter, i assume she cares about her granddaughter and of course will be on the side that's best for her, your side, and gives some tips for her son who obviously on a mission to take non from you.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Sep 22, 2024
emiliya · 22-25, F
@inaccessible “we try to avoide that, at least until the age where they "sit" when we tell them to.”

Is the baby a dog?
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Sep 22, 2024
MiraRoss · 31-35, F
@inaccessible I don't really know much of his family but he's stopped his mum from seeing her I did meet with her once she was nice but any time it messaged her about something babies dad would go mad
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Sep 22, 2024
SatanBurger · 36-40, FVIP
Honestly I'd cover for myself and take my kid to a doctor just to see that the kid is fine and get a lawyer to get full custody. I'd ask the doctor to write a note or give me paperwork on proving that my metaphorical kid is healthy.

Then I'd gather other evidence, keep it somewhere safe and take him to court to get full custody.

That also takes money and in reality I wouldn't be able to maybe but I'd def. try for sure.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Oct 19, 2024
MiraRoss · 31-35, F
@SatanBurger he actually tuck me to court for 50 50 custady he wanted her 5 out of the 7 days
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Oct 19, 2024
SatanBurger · 36-40, FVIP
@MiraRoss Jesus that's a lot to be honest. There's seven days out of the week and he wants almost all seven.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Oct 19, 2024
MiraRoss · 31-35, F
@SatanBurger yep he even complained to the court about the days they gave him that it was good enough
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Oct 19, 2024
Motzu
Alot of women can't even ger men to show up or pay child support. You are complaining he bought her clothes, but also that he is controlling- but you complaint is phrased in a way that shows you are equally controlling. There is likely a shared narcissistic aspect between the two of you in you both thinking you are in the right. I'm surprised you two didn't marry given how much you have in common.

So he made a mistake in clothes selection. He is new to this fatherhood thing, only gets a few hours a week, and you have had multiple kids. Expect more mistakes to be made, but they seem to be loving mistakes. He likely interpreted you stipping her down immediately as being a rude control freak. I would of gone with co gradulating him on buying her cold weather clothes, in the proper season she can wear them, and ask HIM to HELP dress her, or go get her some cold water, and this was all a easy mistake to make.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Sep 21, 2024
MiraRoss · 31-35, F
@Motzu we have nothing in common he's using her to control me that's why I left him and found out I was pregnant 3 weeks later.
It's not an easy mistake who dresses in thick clothes in hot temperatures especially not a baby it's common sense. Okay if not this what about the fact he gets pissed off every time she cries and shouts at her god know what would of happened if I wasn't in the same building or the staff that tuck her from him explain that
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Sep 21, 2024
emiliya · 22-25, F
He isn't the first to overdress a baby. People think they are going to be cold, but they are just as likely to be too warm. Their bodies cannot regulate temperature like ours can.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Sep 22, 2024
kutee · T
why didn you get married, thn he can be there everyday and will see whats actually entailled
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Sep 21, 2024
MiraRoss · 31-35, F
@kutee was seeing him not even 2 months and I'd never marry a man like him
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Sep 22, 2024
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MiraRoss · 31-35, F
@Jenny1234 I've never had a lawyer didn't have time to get one but yes it's 3rd party order by court
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Sep 25, 2024
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
@MiraRoss then he needs to be following the court order or you should go back to court and let the judge know he’s not complying with the court order
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Sep 25, 2024
MiraRoss · 31-35, F
@Jenny1234 we are going back next month 17 th
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Sep 26, 2024
 
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