Do you know that children's brains stop growing in the womb or early childhood when there is chronic stress or their Mom or Dad fight.

@LordShadowfire
To your last sentence, "But the brain just doesn't know when to let such tactics go.", I have found that I had become much too tolerant to 'mind-wandering' in myself, meaning that I would never question my brain wandering off into the muck, saying whatever it wanted to say at anytime and in any place, nor would I try to discipline my brain when it came back home all beat to shit and covered from head to toe with crap from those who took exception to my mindless habit of saying what I wanted to say, or thinking whatever I wanted to think.

Therefore, restraining that 'mind-wandering' becomes a strict discipline that we have to imposed upon our brain to keep it in line at all times, which is the opposite of how we have always ALLOWED it to function.

Why do kids scream in a restaurant? Because the parents allow them to.

That same analogy can be applied to mind-wandering and the lack of discipline we have applied to ourselves in our thinking and the words we have chosen which we never questioned, though others took exception to.

@swirlie That's an excellent comparison. The Buddhists have something similar. It's called taming the elephant.

Imagine your mind as a dangerous elephant, raging out of control and destroying everything around it. If you let your elephant run wild without taming it, it will destroy everything you love. But if you slowly, lovingly, and patiently train your elephant, you can tame it, bringing its behavior under your control.

@LordShadowfire
So true! Thanks for that!

@Really They measured thousands of fetuses brains in the wombs, then at 1 year, 2 years, 3 years etc up to adulthood. Then the reseachers asked their parents if their had been any fighting or stress in their relationship before the birth or when the child was young. They found that even one incident of fighting or domestic violence stopped the normal development of the baby, and after 18 years the brain was still smaller than those fetuses that had no domestic fighting or domestic violence in their family.

@Carazaa This is part of the problem with your claims.

[quote] They found that even one incident of fighting or domestic violence stopped the normal development of the baby,[/quote]

There is NO way they could claim that fighting or domestic violence stopped the normal development of a fetus's brain. There are thousands of other environmental and genetic factors that could cause something like that.

Correlation is NOT Causation.

@G0ddess Prove it

@G0ddess huh!

@SW-User look it up 😉

@AthrillatheHunt We should never really criticize anyone for any reason. It is better to teach by example or give good suggestions, or positive directions. You are right though that verbal abuse is toxic calling a child fat, lazy, stubborn, or rude and verbal abuse is harmful, but harsh critisism over long periods is also bad.

@Carazaa I thought you meant while the kid was still in the womb and harshly criticizing the mom .

@AthrillatheHunt Mom needs to have no stress while pregnant, because the baby is affected by it for the baby to be the healthiest, and ofcourse good nutrition, no alcohol is important too since alcohol even is tiny amounts goes into the amniotic fluid etc.

@Emosaur Emosaur, you want me to spend hours answering the same question year after year? That is not reasonable!

@LordShadowfire You will be ok! When we have a problem or deficit it makes us humble! I think God has a plan for your life and you have strengths, but its good to know we are not perfect because it makes us humble !🤗

@Carazaa I should have been born in a war zone, with what goes on in my head.