would you consider it child abuse

@KaiserSolze exactly my thoughts on it

@PlumBerries thanks for best answer :)

@PlumBerries I have a feminine son who gets called gay. There are children deciding they're gay at 11 at his school. I said to him whether you are or not doesn't matter. You have loads of time, save your kisses. Work it out when you're older. So he decided to concentrate on his school work and that's what he does. He liked wearing dresses when little but he stopped at 4 when a boy pointed and shouted you're a girl. I didn't put any negative on it but I think that made him realise he's a boy and he didn't want people to think he's a girl. So I have a little bit of first hand experience. Even his dad who is very man's man didn't say anything to him, we just let him be himself and so far that's been ok. If there'd been alot of attention to it then it could of possibly worked out different but we just let put a dress on and didn't really say much to him about it good or bad or even ask him why. I think alot of boys like to put their mums high heels on because of the noise they make and I think it's best to avoid putting emotion and attention into things because the child could become swayed and confused when perhaps they just want to dress up. If I'd given it alot of attention or questioned him about gender he might of got confused - who knows and perhaps he'll want to cross dress when older - who knows - but right now he loves learning his school work and he has alot of male and female friends, he's 13, that's what 13 needs to be not worrying about gender and sexuality even. He'll work it all out along the way but he doesn't need to commit to gay or straight or bi or anything like that at 13. I just said wait a while to him, he's the one who decided it was a good option because he has alot of school work and he wants to get a good career more than he's concerned about if he's gay or not. He probably knows if he's gay by now but still he doesn't need to worry about it yet because there's lots of other stuff he needs to do - like have fun with his friends. I tell all 4 of my children "save your kisses" though because there's plenty of time for that not so much time to be a kid.