Upset
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The inevitable phone call

I knew my ex would be unhappy about the letter folders I did for the kids.

Of course he waits until Monday morning when he thinks I'll be at work and unable to pick up. Leave a shouty voicemail then refuse to pickup to me later in the day. It's become a pattern since our divorce. Only today I'm off sick and picked up.

Deep breath while he rants. Then answer calmly which makes him rant more. I work really hard not to reply in an angry way but counter his arguments with "I told you I was doing it.". "I asked you to contribute you refused". "They are people I value and know the kids". "The kids really appreciated them". "It led to a worthwhile conversation".

Finally "I have scanned copies of everything I can reprint them any day".

He's off in a huff. And I have to remember his happiness is not any of my responsibility. Helping my kids is my priority.
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SammyJo · 51-55, F
Tough going, Angela.

With my eldest, my ex husband had custody. It was tough. We didn't get along, he left me, and I had to jump through so many hoops to spend time with her.

For a time, he lived with his mum, relocating from where we lived, and she absolutely hated me. She always tainted his view of me to him.

But...we got there. Joint decisions were made, if he thought of them first, so it was a political game of planting seeds.

We're friendly these days. Been way longer apart than we were ever together. We've all matured - my daughter's in her 40's now - and that's good to see.

You'll get there too. Just time and consistency, but like @VeronicaJane said, not nice to deal with when you're under the weather.

Hugs, darlin'

SJD x
Excellent point Angela. You did tell him about and asked him to participate - which he declined. Your focus on the kids is spot on. You are right that his happiness is not any of your responsibility. Nicely done.

Sorry to hear sick, and hoping for a quick recovery. Lousy phone call when you are feeling under the weather.
FreeorLonely · 51-55, F
Beyond frustrating trying to co-parent with someone like that, I’m sorry.
ironborn · 51-55, M
So long as your kids are ok with the letters I think that is all that matters. As I said before I really liked what you did..it's a great way to open uncomfortable conversation. imo
MrAverage1965 · 61-69, M
That's very true your only concern here is your kids and what you think is best for them.
What is he mad about? Being left out by his own choice? You made the right decision leaving him.
Sounds like he was embarrassed he didn’t participate, likely let down his kids and in general looked bad. A situation he created all on his own.
YoMomma ·
im glad you got away from him and sorry he acts that way 😳
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Iwillwait · M
Did you overstep? Sounds like it.
Iwillwait · M
@AngelaR80 reading between the lines here it sounds as tough you knew all along his intent of wanting to do this during his Parenting Time, and you just did it anyways eliminating the Father's ability to contribute and be a part of your children's lives.
AngelaR80 · 41-45, F
@Iwillwait No. You are reading it completely wrong.

The children currently live with him so he has the majority of the parenting time. He didn't agree with it is all. Actually what he can't deal with is losing control. Now I do things independently that's his problem, but it isn't mine.
Iwillwait · M
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