I don't understand alimony culture
don't these new couple suppose wife n her new husband feel any shame while living off thr ex's money 💀
It is a complex thing that is meant to ensure a fair division of assets if a martiage ends. I do get it if there are children involved, and /or the marriage has been a long one....people take advantage of this though and find legal loopholes.
You could get round this by having a prenup though
You could get round this by having a prenup though
SW-User
alimony is about equitable distribution of gains earned during a long-term marriage. it's a literal math equation. the amount and term are determined through a literal mathematical formula, so that one does not end up at a disadvantage. say you're married for 20 years as a mostly stay-at-home parent, with several children spanning in age, so you don't spend as much time in the taxable workforce while your spouse advanced in education, work experience and credits towards social security the entire time and then decides to divorce you. will you be needing your fair share, or can you afford to just be devalued and expected to catch up to your former status of living with none of the support your spouse received during the marriage?
DrWatson · 70-79, M
If her new partner actually married her, the ex can stop paying alimony.
A lot of women will intentionally not marry the new guy, in order to keep getting the payments. I believe, however, that some courts are beginning to consider petitions from ex husbands to terminate payment under these conditions.
It seems fair to me that if men can be compelled to make "palimony" payments even if there was no marriage, they should also be allowed to stop paying after she finds a new "pal."
A lot of women will intentionally not marry the new guy, in order to keep getting the payments. I believe, however, that some courts are beginning to consider petitions from ex husbands to terminate payment under these conditions.
It seems fair to me that if men can be compelled to make "palimony" payments even if there was no marriage, they should also be allowed to stop paying after she finds a new "pal."
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DrWatson · 70-79, M
@PatKirby It would be one thing to argue, "I was a stay-at-home-mom then, and I am a stay-at-home mom now". (Ala 1950's expectations.) But her attitude is maddening! And the fact that she lives with her mother would negate the argument someone else in her position might make that going to work would mean child care expenses which cancel out the income from the job (as many married parents have come to realize about second incomes.) Her question "Why should I work?" was clearly not an expression of wanting to be with her children all day as much as "hey, I have it made sponging off my mom!" So, it is really hard for me to have sympathy for her at all!
wintersecret · 41-45, M
Raaii · 22-25, F
@Onestarlitnight exactly 🙇♀️
bijouxbroussard · F
Women sometimes pay alimony, too. My friend’s husband quit his job after she got promoted. While she was working, he cheated and the other woman became pregnant. So two things happened as a result: when the mistress sued the man for child support, the only income that could be garnished was my friend’s (his wife’s). She divorced him, but because she was earning a good salary, she had to pay him alimony. Luckily, the mistress was stupid and demanded my friend’s ex marry her. When the man acquiesced, my friend was finally free.
bijouxbroussard · F
@IamCuriousBabe The thing is, my friend had earned twice as much as he did when they both worked. So when he was unemployed and she divorced him (even though it was justified, California has no-fault divorce laws), the courts looked strictly at the numbers.
IamCuriousBabe · 51-55, F
@bijouxbroussard And she got the short end of the straw. Note to self: Do not get married in CA.
bijouxbroussard · F
@IamCuriousBabe Well, men have been saying that for years.
