How do you think your childhood effect how you are today? I'm sorry its long.
I mentioned I was no contact with my side of the family in my last post which sparked a few messaged asking about it. I will explain.
So I was the 3rd child out of 5.. first girl. My mom adored me (or I thought she did) she was my best friend but she was so sick my entire childhood. I took care of her and helped raise my siblings even my older siblings because they needed extra help.. my older siblings have several special needs and would get us taken away and put into foster care a lot because they would lie about things.. My dad on the other hand I'm his first and only child. He was very emotionally unavailable and would quickly choose physical discipline for any punishment. I lived with my mom because she "needed" me.. but it was just so she could get the snap benefits for all 5 of us. I was made to do all of the housework and take care of my siblings.. I wasn't able to be a child really. Fast forward to highschool I met the love of my life and I started realizing the emotional abuse I was going through.. I thought it was all normal.
My 2nd year of highschool I was told I had to drop out of school and get a second job because my mother was too sick to work and I had to take over as the provider. I got my GED and started online college to try to better myself but at 17 I found myself pregnant and I ended up having a stillborn on my 18th birthday. Then I was kicked out of my mothers house (She couldn't get benefits anymore for me since I was an adult) and had nowhere to go until I finally found an apartment and still had to take care of everything and help her financially.. Then 6 months after my 18th birthday my mother passed away and at that point in my life I started opening my eyes to how toxic my side of the family is...
Now my dad is a better dad than he used to be but we still fight sometimes.
So I was the 3rd child out of 5.. first girl. My mom adored me (or I thought she did) she was my best friend but she was so sick my entire childhood. I took care of her and helped raise my siblings even my older siblings because they needed extra help.. my older siblings have several special needs and would get us taken away and put into foster care a lot because they would lie about things.. My dad on the other hand I'm his first and only child. He was very emotionally unavailable and would quickly choose physical discipline for any punishment. I lived with my mom because she "needed" me.. but it was just so she could get the snap benefits for all 5 of us. I was made to do all of the housework and take care of my siblings.. I wasn't able to be a child really. Fast forward to highschool I met the love of my life and I started realizing the emotional abuse I was going through.. I thought it was all normal.
My 2nd year of highschool I was told I had to drop out of school and get a second job because my mother was too sick to work and I had to take over as the provider. I got my GED and started online college to try to better myself but at 17 I found myself pregnant and I ended up having a stillborn on my 18th birthday. Then I was kicked out of my mothers house (She couldn't get benefits anymore for me since I was an adult) and had nowhere to go until I finally found an apartment and still had to take care of everything and help her financially.. Then 6 months after my 18th birthday my mother passed away and at that point in my life I started opening my eyes to how toxic my side of the family is...
Now my dad is a better dad than he used to be but we still fight sometimes.
