I Come From a Broken Family

I experienced this as stepmother to a family of four squabbling, squalling teenagers who got older but did not mature. Fistfights at weddings, fistfights over a car repair project lubricated with beer. Insane. I actually bought outdoor tables with an eye to how hard they would be to collapse when the fights began.

We made some progress. Then we got divorced and I withdrew from the chaos.

What you have to do is establish basic civility rules and tolerate no transgressions. Voices rise in anger, party's over. Zero tolerance for the toxic behavior. If things are already terrible, it can hardly get worse and may get better.

My approach would be to contact the least objectionable and suggest meeting for lunch. Try to build an alliance. Make it clear (without making it apparent that there's a point to your confession) that you don't have extra money for bail, fines, rent - whatever their need is likely to be.)

As time passes - try to create a snowball effect, gathering family members as you go, but make it plain that in any gathering, if hostilities begin, you will leave, or if it's at your place, THEY will leave, with or without a police escort.

That sounds a lot like what I am going through with my family. I just don't know how to forgive being bit so many times. And I never once have done anything to them except try to help.

Seems sometimes we've got to create our true family along way. Tolerating unrepentant toxicity is no longer an option of mine.

That's such a hard position to be in. It's tricky wanting to share your love with people who are toxic. That's my story, too.

All u have to do is try. Family is important even if they are a pain in the back side