Did you ever cut off a TOXIC. Parent?

Completely?

My mother has been the single most toxic abhorrent thing in my life since I was one year old. The degrading abuse began in toddler years and went every day of my life there on…bullying me, mocking, threats and occasional physical assault. I have PTSD as an adult from decades of psychological torture.
Unfortunately I am living with her now and she’s still as obnoxious, demonic and EXPLOSIVE as ever. She just threw something near me because I simply asked her a question ….that makes me so anxious as you think she’s holding something that could really hurt you.
Years ago she said with a pan in her hand, up in the air, *If you don’t get out I don’t know what I’ll do with this*. It made me ON EDGE. All the time after that. I am trying to find work but with chronic PTSD it’s very hard. I need to cut her from my life for good. It’s awful being even in the same room… she’s vile, manipulative, rageful and plain EVIL. She once told my sister who is very ill with severe degenerative diseases and she said she wanted to die, *You don’t have the guts to kill yourself* 🙁Have you ever cut off a parent completely , and how did it feel or go?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

Best thing my fiancee ever did. She's not crying all the time or edgy.

She's broken and you can't fix her. That she's broken is neither your fault nor your responsibility.

Get the fuck out of there.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

I say this because I lived with a narcissist and things DID get violent. Narcs are button-pushers if you let them know where they are and will hit you below the belt every damn time just because they know how to do it. They're as reasonable as an impulsive two-year-old and will die on any hill just to fight you. The fight becomes the cause.

The thing I'm most concerned about is boundaries, because narcs have none, zip, zilch, zero. You say that things are becoming airborne which is truly alarming and my worry is that one or both of you will snap and do something you can't walk away from. You don't want that level of involvement.

Work on getting out of there, that's your best defense.

Fiancee's dad, who was also a narc, is gone, and while I wish death on no one, I'll admit that I am optimistic about the day when mom is no longer here. But she'll likely outlive us all.