I do understand your heartache. I want to tell you, this sort of behavior is quite common in teenagers. And may even be necessary to a point.
Unless there was some major upset in your relationship, don’t regard this as permanent.
They say two-year-olds’ behavior is due to them realizing that they are a person beyond their parents, trying to establish their identity. Trying to separate from “the egg.”
Then, in their teens, it often happens again. They become intensely private and they don’t want to share themselves with their parents. Some just disappear into their rooms, and some show more obvious rebellion. It can mean more upsetting things but not always.
It can be hard to recall, but the emotions of teens are like a tsunami. Things they won’t remember in six months seem world-shattering. They feel like parents are always interrogating them, judging them.
It’s a tough row to hoe for the parents, but the teens are wondering about what will be required of them in the future, what will their world be like and how they’ll fit in.
Try not to despair.
