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My dad is very close to passing

It's been two weeks since he entered hospice today. This is all mind boggling. Only one month ago he had a diagnosis of aggressive Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I thought, ok, he can get chemo and get better like many. Within two days, I'd learn how wrong I was.
They said chemo will kill a compromised body with cancer and they highly don't recommend it. And with this B cell lymphoma, it's so rapid that chemo would only have given him a month more .

I cried on my way out visiting him tonight. He could very well pass overnight. I made sure I held his hand, gave him a warm hug, and told him I love him. I truly don't want him to pass, but watching him suffer is too much.
I will not understand how this much anguish can happen to some. I never even thought about if or when I'd lose my dad. The last month of his life was in the hospital being prodded around the clock with EKG, CAT scans and endless blood work. His breathing is so filled with phlegm and congestion and that's the toughest part to hear.
But they say the morphine does help in breathing too.
Dad, if you can hold on just to tomorrow it would be wonderful. And if not it's ok. And I'm with you wherever you go or are. Thank you for being my dad, and as you call me, your Pal. 🩷
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I am still very sorry you're going through this -__- I know I've compared this to what happened to my mom a few times now but it is very similar. She didn't have any treatlent options as they said chemo or radiation would most likely kill her so we just enjoyed the time we had left with her. Everybody has to go at some point and he's very lucky to have someone to remind him that he's loved. 🥺♥
Baybreeze · 41-45, F
@MrBlueGuy Ty for sharing that. I'm sorry about your mom 😢 It just boggles me why these horrible diseases exist. But yes we all are going to pass, and he made it to 72 which is not amazing but still a good life. I'm glad I could provide him comfort these last couple weeks. Ty again for your kindness 🌺
@Baybreeze My mom was 66, into her first year of retirement. But I also had a friend who passed at 27 because she got bit by a mosquito and got West Nile Virus :/

It's a bit of a nerd alert but this line from Lord of the Rings helps sometimes

Baybreeze · 41-45, F
@MrBlueGuy Aww I'm sorry it happened right into her retirement. Why is life like this sometimes? I love that quote and my dad enjoyed LOTR too. Ty for posting it🌼
My heart hurts reading this. I’m so sorry you’re walking through something this heavy. Watching someone you love suffer is unbearable, and there’s no way to make sense of it. I’m glad he has you holding his hand and telling him you love him , that matters more than anything. It’s okay to want him to stay and also not want him in pain anymore. Both are real. I’m thinking of you and your dad tonight. You don’t have to carry this alone. 💔
Baybreeze · 41-45, F
@VersesAndBruises I felt so helpless Bec we couldn't help or save him. But I'm glad I had the chance to still hold his hand several times in the last two weeks, and to talk to him. He was coherent and could talk up until yesterday. Thank you for your compassion 🫂
@Baybreeze That helpless feeling is so real… wanting to fix it or save them and knowing you can’t is one of the hardest parts. But holding his hand, talking to him, being there , it is helping. That’s love, and it matters more than anything. I’m so glad you had those moments with him while he was still able to talk. Those memories will stay with you. I’m holding you close in my thoughts.
Boeing · 36-40
I'm sorry for that.....💜 happy love day Baybreeze, I keep on reading it as Babybreeze... [media=https://youtu.be/CR6M_sqTVqE]

I like this one, I find it softening me at moments, helping things move, like a sweet breeze
Teslin · M
So sorry !! Went thru something similar over 30 years ago with my dad. Heart attack though. Went into the hospital with high expectations of recovery.
Classified · M
So sudden and sad. 🥺🥺
He sounds like he is a good dad.
Cigarguy · 41-45, C
I am so sorry you are going through this.
chuck7882 · 61-69, M
We're all in your corner Michelle. You are not alone
Nevertooold · 56-60, M
Great daughter and a great post!!Stay strong!!!
Strictmichael75 · 61-69, M
You are a wonderful loving daughter
Baybreeze · 41-45, F
@Strictmichael75 That's really kind, thanks
Strictmichael75 · 61-69, M
@Baybreeze I lost both me parents a good while ago
If ever you need to reach out and chat, don’t hesitate
There is a time difference ( 6:45 here)
But I will always answer

Stay strong
It’s a very difficult moment and time
🫂🫂🫂
🫂i know what you're going through...wishing you all the best and if you need a shoulder to cry on just dm me when the time is right 🫂
Baybreeze · 41-45, F
@beermeplease I really appreciate that 🪻
Rokan · 36-40, M
It feels like my dad was taken overnight too its a really horrible feeling i wish no one had to experience
pdockal · 56-60, M
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

 
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