Guilt as my dad is deathly ill

I've visited my dad once a week for the last year in his. Nursing home. The year prior to it I visited twice a week. Sometimes he'd act irate and rude over little things but mostly it was a good visit. My sister said why not go once a week after he acted like that, especially since he turned a cheek our whole life when we were severely abused by our mother. So I said, yes I'll do once a week.

But now that he has aggressive cancer and could pass any day, I'm feeling a bit of guilt. Every visit, and now too, I do provide him kindness and snacks, getting what he needs etc. , music ...but of course there were extra days last year I could have gone as well. 🙁

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whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

I get it. Not the same. But I cared for my wife through dementia for close to ten years until the family had to intervene for everyones sake. But I digress..Since she has been in proper care, I have visited several times a week. Her dementia is such that she doesnt remember if I visited yesterday or a month ago.And because I havent been able to drive myself since November, I had to rely on other to take me to see her.usually once a week. These group visits work better for us all as we can tag team and distract her if she is getting angry with another person there.
As of Yesterday I can drive myself again. And there is a debate in the family as to whether we should continue the group visits, or go back to separate visits, which were harder on everyone..