Resentments of my wife's choices, and a realization

From time to time I feel resentful about things in my life that would be different and more agreeable to me if I weren't accommodating my wife's preferences. These are not big things in the big picture, but they come to mind periodically. One is that in this summer weather I would be hanging out laundry on a clothesline, outdoors. Another is that we would be living in a smaller house, probably a rental so that we would not have so much responsibility for maintenance. Another is that we would pay some nice person to come and do some house cleaning regularly.
So I just realized that all of this adds up to: I'd like it if things were more like in my family when I was a kid growing up!
So I think I have some growing up to do :D

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LadyGrace ·

@ThePatientAnarchist I don't know, but from what I've read in your replies, communication could be better and should be worked on, but it seems like you're giving in for the sake of comfort and that's not fair to you, either. The whole idea of compromise is to reach middle ground, where you can both be happy, without one dominating or making the final decision, but working on it together. The trick is to be completely honest with each other without being afraid to do so. It sounds like your issues can be resolved, with a bit more work. I honestly have to say that it sounds like she could do more compromising. So It won't always be her way. And I'm wondering if you're putting a lot of the blame on yourself, just to keep the peace.

My best suggestion would be https://similarworlds.com/family/broken-family/5323892-BROKEN-RELATIONSHIP-HELP-INCLUDING-MARRIAGE-CHALLENGES

Father God, thank you for changing and molding us. You will do the work, as we open our hearts to accept it and your help, as we put you first in our lives. We can never do that kind of work on ourselves that you can do. Sometimes all we can say is "peace be still" and "your will be done". Then give it to you by faith, and allow you to work on our behalf. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.

I will keep you in my prayers. We serve an awesome God, that can do awesome things. He's in the miracle business. And he wants Harmony in our lives. The key is to put Jesus first and foremost in all we do, as he is head of the family. He will honor that.

ThePatientAnarchist · 61-69

@LadyGrace Thank you for your helpful suggestions and kind words!

LadyGrace ·

@ThePatientAnarchist You're welcome.

sarahcupcake · 36-40, F

It's really interesting how.... if we agree to stuff in the spirit of compromise we really do have to discipline ourselves to agree and accept it. If we don't then sure we agree to it but... we continue to harbour resentment. So it's important to fully talk things out so that everyone knows and listens and sees what the other person is giving when they agree and accept.

ThePatientAnarchist · 61-69

@sarahcupcake Wise words, thank you! We do talk about these things; perhaps since I am mentioning that I still feel resentment there needs to be a bit more conversation.

sarahcupcake · 36-40, F

@ThePatientAnarchist Well done.... and good luck wiv it too. It's so easy to think "oh I won't say this or that" when really we do need to air stuff so that the other person knows how and what we are thinking. Have a lovely weekend too..!!

ThePatientAnarchist · 61-69

Hey guys you are awesome! I talked with her about the clothesline and she agreed I can put one up and we'll see how it goes.
I realize that one is really nostalgic -- we had a clothesline outdoors specifically when I was a young kid, before we moved to a different city when I was 11 and did not have one. So it is a really significant compromise.
Thank you thank you @sarahcupcake @robbie2499 @ThesebootsRmade4walking @JimboSaturn !

JimboSaturn · 56-60, M

@ThePatientAnarchist My old house had a clothesline, I loved it! On a summer day it is ten tmes faster than a dryer and it's free! Plus I just like the look of clothes on the line.

ThesebootsRmade4walking · 46-50New

@ThePatientAnarchist Woot, woot! Sounds like a compromise. You're welcome🤠

ThePatientAnarchist · 61-69

@JimboSaturn agreed on all counts!

sarabee1995 · 26-30, FVIP

These are the compromises we make for our partners, right. I'm sure she has similar thoughts and feelings about your arrangement.

And my fiancé and I are coming up with our own arrangement.