I just realized it’s been three years since she died

Nearly to the day. I still don’t feel anything about it. I mean I grew up with her and she supposedly raised me though the last few years I was the only adult. Most people say they’re so close to their parents but I despised mine. I know she was a complete sociopath and a worthless alcoholic who made my life hell but still shouldn’t I feel something? When my grandfather was murdered I never got over it but he was a good man at least to me. Is that why I feel nothing about her? If she had been a good person then maybe I would have cared.

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swirlie · 31-35

When we become emotionally detached from someone at an early age, quite often we are not aware that we are emotionally detached and that we always have been.

Where the litmus test comes in is when they die. If we don't feel anything whatsoever when a parent dies, it means that we had detached ourselves from them emotionally many years earlier in life and may have hidden that fact from ourselves and from those around us.