I just realized it’s been three years since she died

Nearly to the day. I still don’t feel anything about it. I mean I grew up with her and she supposedly raised me though the last few years I was the only adult. Most people say they’re so close to their parents but I despised mine. I know she was a complete sociopath and a worthless alcoholic who made my life hell but still shouldn’t I feel something? When my grandfather was murdered I never got over it but he was a good man at least to me. Is that why I feel nothing about her? If she had been a good person then maybe I would have cared.