Upset
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Is it wrong to get tired of helping family?

I kind of feel bad but not really my brother and my daughter have stressed me out and used me up until I'm physically feel sick sometimes, I know if one of them are calling it's will you or can you I'm staring 60 in the face I'm tired of trying to fix everybody and help everybody.is that so wrong? I am looking to move a distance away.
Not wrong for being tired of helping family. Yes, moving away is an option but there’s also the option of working on setting boundaries and learning to say no.
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
We all seem to fulfil our expected role within family settings.
Everyone feels entitled to their own wants and needs, and although they might often seem demanding, it's probably more likely they don't know how to do anything else.

I have exactly the same situation.
My three siblings scattered and I'm the one left with caring duty.
And I'm same age as you.
There are things i need to do for me !

So there are some hard truths that they need to wake up to.

Perhaps you need to take care of you first then see if perspective changes.
swirlie · 31-35, F
@Picklebobble2
Excellent advice! The trick I think, is to learn those lessons early in the game, right?
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
@swirlie I personally dislike the flying visits my sibs. make, creating chaos and disruption for 3 or 4 hours as they do meaningless tasks they create themselves
throwing their mother's routines and needs out the window without second thought, then disappearing not to be heard from for another 3 months.
Selah ·
Family can be so entitled but never reciprocate or care how they're using you.
Tonia3 · 56-60, F
@Selah makes sense
zonavar68 · 56-60, M
It's wrong if the help isn't returned and it's only (or mostly) one way.
ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M
No, we all have limits to how much we can give.
It's not wrong, from what you wrote, it sounds like they're using you. Perhaps the distance will alleviate the stress that has made you feel physically sick, and fleeing further away will give you the distance, and reason to just say no.
Carissimi · F
No. You are burned out. Step back, and allow yourself to say no, and be unavailable. You choose who you can help, and when, and if you get too burnt out, you won’t be able to help anyone, even yourself.
olderuncle944 · 70-79, M
Take care of yourself first ,your job or business second family 3rd, reason if you dont take care of yourself you cant take of work and if you cant work you cant help family . .
olderuncle944 · 70-79, M
Some times you have to say no to family. tell them its time to grow up and figure out there own problems if its money say you got your self in this fix its time to work it out on your own .
Diotrephes · 70-79, M
@Tonia3 According to the Jesus character a person is supposed to sell his belongings and give the money to the poor. If you would do that for strangers why won't you do it for your own family members?

Mark 10:21 (CEB) = "Jesus looked at him carefully and loved him. He said, “You are lacking one thing. Go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor. Then you will have treasure in heaven. And come, follow me.”
Djoc54 · 56-60, M
It's not wrong objectively. Subjectively, of course you should help family, but ... are you being taken advantage of. Are they making an effort to take care of themselves... or just lazily depending on you.
It can get too much.
It's not wrong - though each situation is different.
1olderguy20 · 61-69, M
I know the feeling
thisisme01 · 36-40, M
You can only do what you can do and sometimes taking a step back and stop helping people even if it s family is what we need to do. I would say do what you think is best for you.
Penny · 46-50, F
just tell them the truth. that youve been feeling stressed and need time to relax so please can they find someone else to help
meggie · F
I don't live near mine so dont get asked for help anymore.
Moneyonmymind · 31-35, M
It isn’t wrong if it turns into you being used all the time
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