Did you ever want to be an only child? I never did, but most only children say they loved it because they got everything they wanted and everything

@Luckylu Thats sad. I see my sister every 2 weeks she comes to me and next time i go to her. My mother told us never to forget her and look after each other

@Luckylu I can imagine being the only girl in a big family would be hard. Everything revolves around the boys a lot of times. Hugs

@Luckylu Are they in contact with each other as far as you know?

@SW-User As far as I know they are. But I suspect it is the wives that keep them in contact. They all live within 100 miles of each other. I used to live within that radius and it was always me or my mother arranging get togethers. When I faced an opportunity that took me further away, half way across a continent I took it because I felt no incentive to stay near enough to see them since we only saw each other about once a year if that.

@Luckylu Do you Miss them though?

@SW-User How do I answer this without it sounding like I’m heartless or uncaring? I miss the idea of them. I had this grandiose idea of who they are and what we would mean to each other. (When I was much younger) But when I saw that was just a pipe dream of mine, it broke my heart. They are who they are and I’ve come to accept it. When I start to miss them…. Well I remind myself and I let it go. I’ve gone through a lot and even told them, updated them on my journey with breast cancer. Not a single one reached out to just talk. So missing them would be a waste of my emotional energy. But I still find myself doing it sometimes when I let myself think about them. It is what it is. I can’t change it and so I just go on living a thousand miles away and in a different country and I create a life without them. Sorry for the long response but just saying I miss them and yet I don’t wouldn’t really make sense or answer your question.

@Luckylu You sound anything but heartless. In fact I'd say, and forgive me if I'm wrong but you sound more heartbroken and understandably so, but certainly not heartless.

I'm genuinely sorry your brothers never reached out to you in your time of need. Im sat here trying to make sense of their silence after such an update and I simply don't get it. I sincerely hope you are doing well on the cancer front and life in general.

@SW-User Thanks. In regards to the cancer no sign of it, December will be 9 years or maybe I should say August since that was when I had my first surgery. October was another surgery and chemo started the end of November and I stopped it the end of December, 9 years ago. I’m doing well. The rest of of my life saw massive changes which I may finally be emerging from. It’s all a very long and complicated story, which I won’t bore you with.

You would have to know my family in order to understand the silence and lack of communication which I have worked hard to dig myself out of and not pass on to my daughter. I had hopes my brothers would want to do the same but alas that is not the case.

Thank you for your kind words and insightful observation. It means a lot to me. Not having much of it I cherish what is sent my way. 🥀🌷💙

@Luckylu I feel like it's better for you that way since they don't even bother to check on you. I know it's not my place to say that especially trying not to sound insensitive