Sad
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Apple crisp at midnight

One of the only times I ever remember cuddling with my mum, was the time my dad left (oh, he left many times actually, but this was one of the worst).

My mum made apple crisp for her and I and we curled up in a reclining chair together, listening to a movie. I remember falling asleep against her. Waking up many times because I was so uneasy. Weary, exhausted... So was she. But so much more, I'm sure.

Every time a relationship ends, I feel the same way as that did. Just lost and hopeless and loved but unwanted by one so I feel like I can never be happy again. Worthless and unwanted
OhIsMe · 36-40, M
There's a book I read my son called "The big big sea"

It's an adult reminiscing about the time she went out to splash in the sea at night with her mum, then they got cold and wrapped themselves in blankets by a fire.

I get so emotional reading it because I'm nostalgic for a time I never had. I don't have any memories of closeness with my family, so there's such an emptiness there.

I'm glad that even if this memory for you evokes sadness, that there was someone you could be close to and hold on tight to.
caccoon · 36-40
@OhIsMe I'm so sorry that you haven't had any close memories of moments with your family. This is one of the most prominents one I have, but there are a few others. And I am lucky for them <3
Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M
As a kid we tend to internalise those kinds of things so maybe it's a reflection of how you felt then when your dad would leave. The whole worthless and unwanted side of it seems it could be as it's quite a strong reaction and emotions when we're younger tend to be blunt and quite intense.

I know the feeling though so I feel ya..
Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M
@caccoon Earlier you do it the quicker you can start living your life to the fullest :)
caccoon · 36-40
@Ryannnnnn For the past year or so, I have been focusing on DBT and it's really helped me in a lot of ways. But the relationships are a real struggle for me
Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M
@caccoon That's great, combined with timeline work it should help. Yeah those feelings usually come up when we're most vulnerable or when there's something we really care about.
AllelujahHaptism · 36-40, M
you are loved though >.<

on a side note, whats apple crisp?
caccoon · 36-40
@AllelujahHaptism I know 💙💙 it's weird and bad to get hung up on one person

It's kinda like apple pie, but without the pastry, and with a golden, crispy nut, oat, butter and sugar topping 🤣 not healthy, but yummy!
AllelujahHaptism · 36-40, M
@caccoon it happens though unfortunately

i dont think ive ever seen anything like that here haha

 
Post Comment