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It was a joke but..

Today at work, something happened that’s been sitting with me. I was showing a colleague some old photos of someone we both knew, and a picture of me from about 10 years ago came up. He joked, “Wow, you’ve let yourself go,” and then immediately apologised, saying he didn’t mean it that way. He’s known for being light-hearted and making jokes, and at the time I didn’t take it seriously.

But when I got home, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The comment hit a nerve because it echoed thoughts I’ve had about myself for a long time. Even though I know he didn’t mean any harm, it knocked my confidence.

I understand that no one can control another person’s triggers, but I wish that when it comes to appearances, changes, or personal struggles, people would be extra careful with what they say. You never know how deeply it might affect someone, even if it’s meant as a joke.
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I can see why you would feel caught off guard with that. I think anyone would. I think that was very rude of this person, to tell you the truth. What an awful thing to say to anyone. I agree, in that I don't think he was trying to be mean, but wow, some people just don't think. Sorry that hurt your feelings. I would feel the same. It's just not cool to say something like that. I am having wondering why he couldn't see that. That was very hurtful and uncalled for. His comment may reflect that he has issues of insecurity, himself. You deserve kindness and respect. I'm sure you're an amazing person, and one person's opinion doesn't define your worth. I do think I'd stay clear of him for a while. Maybe he'll get the hint. I sure hope so.