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It was a joke but..

Today at work, something happened that’s been sitting with me. I was showing a colleague some old photos of someone we both knew, and a picture of me from about 10 years ago came up. He joked, “Wow, you’ve let yourself go,” and then immediately apologised, saying he didn’t mean it that way. He’s known for being light-hearted and making jokes, and at the time I didn’t take it seriously.

But when I got home, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The comment hit a nerve because it echoed thoughts I’ve had about myself for a long time. Even though I know he didn’t mean any harm, it knocked my confidence.

I understand that no one can control another person’s triggers, but I wish that when it comes to appearances, changes, or personal struggles, people would be extra careful with what they say. You never know how deeply it might affect someone, even if it’s meant as a joke.
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I ran into something funny a couple months ago. Another Dave, about twenty five years younger than me, started there. We would be working beside each other every day and if they asked for David/Dave we'd both respond. So they jokingly started calling him Junior, I knew would lead to me being called senior. It made me laugh personally.

People can joke funny sometimes not knowing they have insulted you, and maybe they should know. At first I was sensitive knowing this would come, 'senior" but it's from a young woman mostly who jokes this way and I just say 'senhorita' back.