Childhood trauma made me afraid of sex for many years

I’m still affected by it though I have had sexual partners it’s still extremely difficult to start a relationship because of my fears.
It’s also been a factor in my personal sexual orientation and my sexual desires and kinks..

As I said, starting a relationship is very difficult but once I’m in a sexually active relationship my kinks come out and I’m up for anything and everything she’ll allow and except..

Right now I’m not in a relationship but I want one.
My trepidation about sex goes right back to the beginning, it’s like I’m a terrified virgin all over again.
It really sucks being this way

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CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

I don't even know what it's like to see those parts of the body down there positively. It's hard to accept that this is what the other person attracted to me based on my appearance wants and finds desirable because I don't really want to use it that way. I think it might be the result of a trauma for me too.

laurieluvsit · 26-30, F

So sorry that happened to you.

Counseling has not helped?

Telcontar

@laurieluvsit
I tried counseling many years ago and it helped reach the point where I could lose my virginity but it was an anomaly and it was many years before I did it again. I found someone that I could trust and I told her about my issues and fears. She was so kind and understanding..
we ended up together for four years and enjoyed a very fulfilling sex life. After that it was back to square one and worse..
hospitalizations and therapy..

I ended up meeting another woman who also had issues but not with sex. That relationship lasted more than a decade but her issues severe and she became very abusive towards me especially mentally and sexually.
I know that it was her illness that caused this and I don’t hold it against her. We’ve been apart for years now but we’re still friends and I help her manage her life through her many struggles

YoMomma ·

Some people can instill fear in us because of their behaviors and habits that are evil.. i hope you can forget about them or maybe press charges or at least go on record against them to help prosecute them and help their next victims get justice against them 😳🙁

nevergiveup · M

How did it start as a child what happened

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NativePortlander1970 ·

@nevergiveup Never, EVER ask, it is extremely uncouth and rude.

MoveAlong · 70-79, M

@Telcontar I understand why you might not want to post details and wouldn't ask for them but what's the point of posting at all if no one knows what you are even talking about.

Telcontar

@MoveAlong
I think it’s pretty clear what I’m talking about without having to get into specific details.
People who have had similar experiences and issues understand what I’m saying and that’s enough.
Sometimes it’s important that we express ourselves and not keep it bottled up inside and hidden.
I’ve revealed details in the past. It wasn’t anymore helpful than this and I ended getting fetishized by people. Received unwanted messages and endured comments about how I was “lucky”🤢🤮

NativePortlander1970 ·

I am so very sorry, my younger cousin became hypersexual due to her abuse by her father, my aunt's husband.

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