Childhood trauma made me afraid of sex for many years

I’m still affected by it though I have had sexual partners it’s still extremely difficult to start a relationship because of my fears.
It’s also been a factor in my personal sexual orientation and my sexual desires and kinks..

As I said, starting a relationship is very difficult but once I’m in a sexually active relationship my kinks come out and I’m up for anything and everything she’ll allow and except..

Right now I’m not in a relationship but I want one.
My trepidation about sex goes right back to the beginning, it’s like I’m a terrified virgin all over again.
It really sucks being this way

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laurieluvsit · 26-30, F

So sorry that happened to you.

Counseling has not helped?

Telcontar

@laurieluvsit
I tried counseling many years ago and it helped reach the point where I could lose my virginity but it was an anomaly and it was many years before I did it again. I found someone that I could trust and I told her about my issues and fears. She was so kind and understanding..
we ended up together for four years and enjoyed a very fulfilling sex life. After that it was back to square one and worse..
hospitalizations and therapy..

I ended up meeting another woman who also had issues but not with sex. That relationship lasted more than a decade but her issues severe and she became very abusive towards me especially mentally and sexually.
I know that it was her illness that caused this and I don’t hold it against her. We’ve been apart for years now but we’re still friends and I help her manage her life through her many struggles