how come when you show too much interest in a woman it turns her off

but then if you are disinterested or try to 'show some cool' that causes them to ghost you as well and you never hear from that girl again?

so what are you supposed to do to get a connection with a woman you like? with me, i had long term social problems and a mental disorder to cope with, i never learnt the social skills other men did, never had the experience either....and overall, i missed out on interactions with girls in my adult life and never met the girls i wanted to meet, and never had a relationship, ever.

you could say i never completely missed out because i had quite a few sex encounters with girls in my youth, but nothing ever came of those encounters..

so, as i was saying, how are you supposed to be with a woman when you have a time you're interacting with one online or private message etc? because if you're too eager or show desperation, it frightens them off......you never hear from her again....but if you go the other way of trying to ' show some cool ' that can cause them to ghost you as well?

also, because of what i've been through in life, i struggle with my self confidence at times and self worth, which is understandable if you went through what i did.

so what do you do with women? to be honest, it is very frustrating at times as i don't know how to take things forward nor know what to say to her.

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PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F Best Comment

I think you just have to be yourself and not try too hard. I do find it off putting when a guy is too needy or mushy, declaring his undying love and stuff. Immediately it makes him vulnerable, if he's vulnerable he's weak. It means he can't keep me safe and I would be able to manipulate him, he wouldn't stand up to me. Don't get me wrong, there's a place for vulnerability, it's in the quiet moments when you just had sex. It few and far between built because of trust and not every five minutes.

durinsBane1983 · 46-50, M

@PatientlyWaiting25 ive had replies from you before i remember, so thanks for answering and your take on this, because it's something i genuinely struggle with, when you said ' be yourself and not try too hard' i agreed, and it's the advice i get given by my loved ones often....also i think many people want a connection in this world, and i'm no different because it's what i desire too....but it's how you go about it as well, from what i've seen, many women are very particular what they want now, but at the end of the day, all i can ever be is myself.

PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F

@durinsBane1983 many women, especially when they get older, know exactly what they want and not scared to hold out to get that. I think that's especially true if they already had a really good relationship and they are looking to find something similar.