Going through a major life lesson and need your thoughts.

It's 3:52 AM and I just woke and saw that jessica called and left a voice mail. Should I ignore it? I had my ringer off. I do not want to deal with her stuff. Shes a 32 year old alcoholic that is the daughter of a friend that died of cancer. She just got out of detox again. Last time she did this she was in the ER and it ended up.with letting her stay here a couple days while i was out of town. She snuck in vodka. By the time i got back and her into a detox she had a bac of 2.63 and had made a mess of the house.

So this time I used the bathroom. Going to try to go back to sleep. This is hard to ignor what I'm sure it is an existential crisis call for help but she needs to go through it without me interfering. Right? I need to talk to pastor Tania I think. There is no parable about what to do in these cases. How does one be a good friend, neighbor, or parent by doing nothing? By ignoring them and their suffering? We give aid to Africa but they keep having kids that suffer so should we stop there too?
I have a close friend that lives overseas that cannot get a job that pays enough to feed his mother and sister so they may need to become a prostitute?
We are supposed to help till it hurts, but when does helping hurt them more than you? What if helping someone else hurts others around you? Like i could marry the friend overseas but that would devestate my gf here. This is a major life lesson. I know there are boundaries but this is tough stuff to live with.

If you are a ship at sea and get a mayday you are required to aid them, but if you are in a crowded lifeboat toy have to beat off the others still in the water.

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Miram · 31-35, F

I was going to give you advice and then I read this

We give aid to Africa but they keep having kids that suffer so should we stop there too?

Your politicians bomb entire ethnicities to oblivion in Africa

They sponsor militants with weapons.

They support other regimes which do this and defend them too like the UAE and Saudi Arabia

Your corporations steal african resources and empower the corrupted as long as they fill their pockets too.

You destabilize africa. You don't even have to "help". All you have to do as a collective is to stop ducking around here and that will decrease most problems in the continent. You are the creators of suffering, not just the dummy militants.

But, hey you give a dollar a month to africa ? And africans are the problem because they choose to have kids and hope. Get real, you merucan person

You do have a lot to learn. You aren't saving anyone. When you help people , it is not so you can determine the outcomes and control them according to your understanding of progress. It is so you create opportunities. It is an act of balance. Putting your own resources to good use. It doesn't make you a hero. You get and take so you have to give. You do it because it is the right thing to do, because your privilege is also something they themselves contributed to. It is not an achievement that you were born in the circumstances you have and they didn't.

Give and let go.

Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M

@Miram all we see here are the advertisements for Save the Children. If we di hear abything about military actions they are just in reference to fighting "terrorist organiations". The news services are not giving us the whole story. Just like what is going on in Gaza. That sounds like a land grab.