If you've been living with your boyfriend/girlfriend for 15+ years...

@MarkPaul 3. I feel like this statement doesn't look good without a justification.

@FCNantes Justification from who?

@MarkPaul You. Why'd it be time to be accountable? Does being in a relationship for 15 years & not marrying (assuming that this was a feasible option) prove that the relationship has been built around a fear of commitment?

@FCNantes Basically... yes.

@MarkPaul I feel like there should be a reasoning for such a statement. I think a couple can be together for 15 years without marrying & still be fully comitted to each other.

@MarkPaul Isn't that 15+ years a commitment in itself? The only thing that changes is legalities basically.

@FCNantes Tbh, I'm not sure you understand how life works. Based on experiential evidence, that fear of commitment always (ALWAYS) is displayed in avoiding a formal promise.

@DreamyCrush No. That 15+ years is an arrangement of convenience. Look, I'm not saying there can't be mutual love, respect, and endurance. But, without a formal commitment, there is an underlying issue. Don't be so afraid.

@MarkPaul You're claiming a 100% correlation based on anecdotal evidence. That's the best you got?

@FCNantes It's not anecdotal. I get that convention tells us "a piece of paper," a solemn vow, an ironclad commitment is meaningless. But, that's anecdotal. A marriage commitment is Bible-based with long-standing results. And, not only is that the best; it's the only "real" solution. Otherwise, it's basically a loving roommate situation.

@MarkPaul "And, not only is that the best; it's the only "real" solution. Otherwise, it's basically a loving roommate situation."

Unless you give a reasoning for this, you're just making a claim.

How's it the only 'real' solution (& a solution to what?)? Is it otherwise a loving roommate situation?

@FCNantes I don't know what you are looking for. This is my professional assessment based on studying human nature and the psychology of humans.

Listen... there is more to this (there always is) than 2 people who just don't want to cave into a formal marriage. And, if you think there isn't, then you are more naive then even you realize about yourself. No offense.

Now, when you lock in a commitment you are closing off alternatives. That's pretty heavy stuff. But, unless you are willing to make that kind of commitment, what you basically have is a roommate situation. And, if that's all you want, then you are golden. But, if it isn't what you "really" want, then the SOLUTION is a formal marriage commitment.

See now...?

@MarkPaul I never failed to understand your logic. The problem's the assumptions you're making to make your argument. I suspect they're unfounded.

"Listen... there is more to this (there always is) than 2 people who just don't want to cave into a formal marriage. And, if you think there isn't, then you are more naive then even you realize about yourself. No offense."

I could call you naïve for believing that 100% of couples who choose not to marry have a problematic reason to do so.

That wouldn't make me right.

What you're doing here's making claims. I'd like these claims to be backed up. Otherwise you're just a man saying words.

@FCNantes It's kind of insulting to have you suggesting my qualified assessment is bogus. No, I haven't done detailed primary research on this exact topic. But, I have been studying human nature... and that counts. And, I've been studying the Bible fairly regularly now.

Is it possible 2 people out of a million can act like husband and wife without ever making a formal commitment? Sure, but that is clearly going to be the exception, not the rule.

Look, personally I don't know thing one when it comes to a 15+ year relationship. I haven't had one of those. But, I do know human nature tends to fear commitment, acts differently when there is a commitment, and will tend to rationalize not needing a commitment. And, I can state with assurance that is what is at play here.

@MarkPaul I do tend to find that perfect correlations are bogus.
You're telling me you're offended, but that doesn't inform me that I should behave any differently.

I find this reply acceptable.

It's worth noting that a lot of scientists were idiots.

@FCNantes Well, your behaviour is questionable... almost as though you are nurturing a bias.

@MarkPaul As long as I'm not nurturing a bias...
for example, not being particularly convinced 1 way or the other.

@FCNantes Semantics?

@MarkPaul Like thinking it's probably the case that there're some couples who're absolutely fine without marrying, even if most who do this have major issues.

@FCNantes I just think you are putting a lot of energy into avoiding a formal commitment. And, that bothers me.

@MarkPaul I don't know what you mean?

@FCNantes Sorry... see edited version.

@MarkPaul I don't see how it entails a great deal of energy/effort... you just have to not get married!

@FCNantes You don't have to get married, but then just call the arrangement what it is... roommates (with benefits).

@MarkPaul You don't have to call it roommates. Besides, when you're married, you're still roommates.