What`s the worst or funniest insult you have ever heard?

You're a purple toilet pooooo head

i once was able to get my sister so mad at me that she called me a daughter of a whore, and she got even madder when i started laughing.

My four-year-old sister calling her best friend "a big fat shut-up."

A mean girl on my bus told another sixth grader "you're the devil's assistant and you have a fat butt." (I don't know about the devil's assistant part but she definitely did not have a fat butt.)

You suck muddy pond water!!

My 8 year old niece to me, expressing her displeasure that I made her quit doing whatever it was she was doing.

I was working in a pub. Some really unruly idiotic guy in a pub was pulling down his jeans and boxers.
He was out of his face... Acting a total gob shite!
So I told him I'd seen a bigger prick on a dartboard!
He got kicked out of the pub pants around his ankles!

A woman at a poker table I felted, said she hoped all my teeth fall out except one, so I can still get a toothache, then she got up and left. The whole table burst out laughing

I was once told (here) to get my crayons and colouring-in book.

The other was a whats app message I received. The background is a German football club HSV who were a founding member of the top division in football in Germany, had never been relegated. As this eventually happened the next day I got a text saying don't you remember the good old days as HSV were in the first division, I remember it like it was yesterday.

Before this post dies, I have 2 more. Winston Churchill at a Downing Street dinner was supposedly told by a female guest, Mr Churchill you are drunk, to which he replied: and you Madam are ugly, but rest assured in the morning I will be sober...

The conductor Beecham once stopped a rehearsal and glared at the cello soloist : "Madam; you have something between your legs that should be capable of giving pleasure to millions". Too cruel to be funny.

Worst insult:
"Oh Helen you haven't changed a bit!", after not having seen me for ten years.

I'm quite fond of "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits".