I’m officially done trying to make friends

I’ve been trying to make my own friends since having our first in 2021. I guess I didn’t really have friends before that cause I moved to hubbys hometown 800 miles away from my own in 2016 and the “friends” I did have before kids were his friends that I met through him. He has a couple close friends/acquaintances currently but I’m still left with none.

We had a big fight last night and he told me the one friend, who’s a female and has been his friend for 20+ years, that I’ve been wanting to be friends with for the longest time doesn’t hang out with me because all I do is complain (she’s not wrong but I have nobody to talk to EVER) and tbh that stung hard. She hangs out when I’m not around and makes sure to leave before I get home from work, which I guess makes sense now that I know what I know. Like I suck to be around so much people actively avoid being around me so I deleted all the apps I had trying to make friends because it’s pointless. I’m a person who has to meet someone in person to feel a connection and keep up a relationship so trying to find friends online is pointless

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twistedrope · 26-30, M

Yeah you're not doing anything wrong. Just being yourself actually has no real problems associated. You're not hurting anyone so complain all you like. Anyone worth the time to hang out has the balls to assert themselves and speak up and say something like "It's not really my interest this subject. Can we move on?" or "I can't take the emotions atm. I want something simple. Can we go watch something?" or whatever.

Searching for people is hard but a limited pool doesn't mean settling for people who just don't like you or don't have the guts to be honest. Of course... You might want to clear the air by saying "Whenever you feel uncomfortable, speak up and I'll respect your thoughts without going mental." Then assume the responsibility. It's hard work but its cool. But that's just my opinion.

You'll find friends just hang out and take up a hobby. Try to maintain some mental energy to the excursion of hanging out with randoms to find someone who has your style. I do something similar and atm reserving my mental energy through learning frameworks to make my life easier.