Its not easy to do

Especially when since I was 19 I have either been in a relationship or married. I lived with my current boyfriend for five years. But his smoking was beginning to play havoc with my asthma. I smoked for a while too when we got back together but I stopped really quickly. Last year due to smoking and diabetes he lost his left leg below the knee. After he had a couple of falls we decided he needed to be in sheltered housing for his own safety. I have pins and rods in my back from scoliosis surgery so I can't lift him. The change has been difficult for both of us but necessary. I still cry every time he goes home and as I have anxiety I sometimes have panic attacks at night. But I'm getting used to it as it has been a couple of months now. We meet up/ he visits often and we chat on the phone for long periods at a time. He is a very generous loving man. He often brings me little treats or takes me for dinner. We are making it work because we deeply love one another.