On a serious note...

Should I put myself back out there? Part of me is wishing for a genuine connection. But the rest of me, since the major incidents that've happened, I am comfortable in solitude. Idk if I'm better off alone because I'm just so use to it and I'm also just fiercely independent. Although, I feel like clinging to isolation is just symptom of said events (in previous posts) that perhaps I'm not doing myself any favors. Looking at it from a different perspective, I should push myself past the anxiety and trauma, but on the other am I just too damaged to even bother? Idk. I ask because I had dreamt recently I was hanging out with a random SO, and felt loved but woke with an understanding it's another goodbye to a life I'm not capable of having. Otherwise, I just suppress the thought and remain occupied to the passion of my work.