Asking
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

What's the most "unearned" compliment you've ever gotten?

By "unearned" I mean a compliment you got basically for nothing or for something very basic that wouldn't warrant a compliment. A compliment that feels patronizing and/or condescending but unintentionally so.

I'll give some examples of this happening to me:

So my elderly aunt was talking to this elderly friend of hers, and for context I know some (Brazilian) Portuguese but not a lot. And my aunt and the friend are Brazilian. And the topic of grandmas came up. And they were like "does he even know what a grandma is?" They were talking in Portuguese to be clear. And in Portuguese I replied "a grandma is the mother of the father or mother of the child" and the friend was like "OH MY GOD THAT'S RIGHT HE'S EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT!"

And to be clear this is extremely common knowledge in Portuguese. Even literal toddlers know what a grandma is. And my Portuguese is shabby but that's literally one of the first things you learn in Portuguese. Cat, dog, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, etc. So it felt insulting to my intelligence. Almost like being told I'm intelligent for knowing that 2+2=4.

Another one, back in 12th grade when I was 18, this elderly teacher started treating me like I was above and beyond all because I said "good morning" to her instead of ignoring her like all the other kids. Like she really HYPED ME UP. And my grades in her class were terrible too and I barely paid attention in class, and I wasn't even all that nice to her. Literally a "good morning" was all I needed to impress her. In reality I wasn't impressive. The rest of the class was just extremely rude.

It felt patronizing because it almost felt like winning a medal/trophy for doing absolutely nothing. Like winning a medal just simply for breathing.

Those are the two main examples I can think of. Though I probably could think of more. Coincidentally or not both instances involved elderly women. I guess elderly women really like giving out free compliments for absolutely nothing, eh?
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
The closest I’ve come is probably occasionally being told by strangers "you’re so articulate ! You’re so well-spoken !"
I shrug it off, generally, but I’m fairly well-educated (I used to be a teacher).

It always makes me wonder what they were expecting to hear. 😳
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
@EzraIsShy76028 Yes, I’m African American. And I’ve heard the comments about looks, too.
EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25
@bijouxbroussard Ah. Somehow I already knew (your profile pic being another possible hint), though I didn't want to assume. A lot of African American people I've met both in real life and online have said basically the same thing.

It's kind of ironic how those White Americans in the process of trying to NOT be racist just end up being even MORE racist... 🤦 like really bro, if you hate Black people and think of them as less then just say it. Don't try to act nice when in reality you're just being backhanded.
@EzraIsShy76028 Honestly, I’d just as soon they keep their distance. I’ve experienced in-your-face hatred, too. It’s not pleasant.
EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25
@bijouxbroussard I mean I guess it depends on which you consider worse.

A: Someone who hates your guts but at least is honest about it.

B: Someone who hates your guts but pretends to respect you.

I don't know which of the two is worse honestly. They're basically two sides of the same coin.
@EzraIsShy76028 It also depends on your experiences, I would imagine. Like I said, I’d rather just be left alone by people who feel hatred towards me, with no rational cause. That’s the third option. Their "honesty" means nothing to me. People who hate don’t always keep their hands to themselves.
EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25
@bijouxbroussard Ah yes. The best gift someone who hates you can give is ignoring you. It makes for a real nice present. 🎁 No contact, basically.