What's the most "unearned" compliment you've ever gotten?

By "unearned" I mean a compliment you got basically for nothing or for something very basic that wouldn't warrant a compliment. A compliment that feels patronizing and/or condescending but unintentionally so.

I'll give some examples of this happening to me:

So my elderly aunt was talking to this elderly friend of hers, and for context I know some (Brazilian) Portuguese but not a lot. And my aunt and the friend are Brazilian. And the topic of grandmas came up. And they were like "does he even know what a grandma is?" They were talking in Portuguese to be clear. And in Portuguese I replied "a grandma is the mother of the father or mother of the child" and the friend was like "OH MY GOD THAT'S RIGHT HE'S EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT!"

And to be clear this is extremely common knowledge in Portuguese. Even literal toddlers know what a grandma is. And my Portuguese is shabby but that's literally one of the first things you learn in Portuguese. Cat, dog, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, etc. So it felt insulting to my intelligence. Almost like being told I'm intelligent for knowing that 2+2=4.

Another one, back in 12th grade when I was 18, this elderly teacher started treating me like I was above and beyond all because I said "good morning" to her instead of ignoring her like all the other kids. Like she really HYPED ME UP. And my grades in her class were terrible too and I barely paid attention in class, and I wasn't even all that nice to her. Literally a "good morning" was all I needed to impress her. In reality I wasn't impressive. The rest of the class was just extremely rude.

It felt patronizing because it almost felt like winning a medal/trophy for doing absolutely nothing. Like winning a medal just simply for breathing.

Those are the two main examples I can think of. Though I probably could think of more. Coincidentally or not both instances involved elderly women. I guess elderly women really like giving out free compliments for absolutely nothing, eh?

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LordBarbossa · 36-40, T

I've been told on 3 different occations that "I wish you were my child" simply bc I treated the elderly ladies who siad it ashuman beings. One of them was my super religious step-gmaw, so not sure she counts. But the other two were regulars at the pastry store I worked in at one point.

EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25

@LordBarbossa Hmm that's basically exactly like my example in the post. I said "good morning" to the elderly teacher while all the other kids ignored her and she borderline started treating me like her own child for that alone. Even though I had terrible grades in her class, never paid attention, and wasn't even all that nice outside of saying good morning.

So basically we got praised from elderly ladies for doing absolutely nothing.

It's low-key kind of sad when you really think about it though. They're so used to being treated like trash that literally the absolute barest minimum is enough to brighten up their day.

SW-User

Bom dia :)

Usually, being called a computer expert for doing things like turning on and off a router to fix connection issues or praising my cooking when it's just premade food that you just need to put in oven for a few minutes.

EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25

@SW-User Ooof...that's ALMOST as bad as the examples in my post. In my examples it was being praised for knowing what a grandma is in Portuguese and for saying "good morning." Turning on and off a router is really bad too. And being praised for heating up premade food is also bad. Though I think my examples MIGHT be sliiiiightly even worse because even a toddler knows what a grandma is and it's basic common courtesy to say "good morning" to people.

SW-User

@EzraIsShy76028 Your example is definitely a few notches worse. I'm Portuguese and that is so typical of grandmothers here.

bijouxbroussard · F

The closest I’ve come is probably occasionally being told by strangers "you’re so articulate ! You’re so well-spoken !"
I shrug it off, generally, but I’m fairly well-educated (I used to be a teacher).

It always makes me wonder what they were expecting to hear. 😳

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EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25

@bijouxbroussard I mean I guess it depends on which you consider worse.

A: Someone who hates your guts but at least is honest about it.

B: Someone who hates your guts but pretends to respect you.

I don't know which of the two is worse honestly. They're basically two sides of the same coin.

bijouxbroussard · F

@EzraIsShy76028 It also depends on your experiences, I would imagine. Like I said, I’d rather just be left alone by people who feel hatred towards me, with no rational cause. That’s the third option. Their "honesty" means nothing to me. People who hate don’t always keep their hands to themselves.

EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25

@bijouxbroussard Ah yes. The best gift someone who hates you can give is ignoring you. It makes for a real nice present. 🎁 No contact, basically.

soar2newhighs

A woman leaving a local Bagel shop and I needed to move my chair. She thanked me. Then she remarked, “Your eyes are of Ireland!” I have and occasionally get similar comments.

Cigarguy · M

I don't take compliments well. So almost any I get

EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25

@Cigarguy Ah. Yeah. I've heard of many people (or at least over the internet) who don't take compliments well. From what they described it was sort of a feeling of "being put on the spot" or "making things too personal." Don't know if it's the same for you.

BamPow · 51-55, M

“You’re still young.”

No I’m not.

EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25

@BamPow Well I guess it depends on who you're comparing yourself to. To a 25 year old you're old enough to be their parent, so you might as well be ancient. But to an 85 year old you're young enough to be THEIR child, so you might as well be just a little baby. So it's all relative.

In the overall grand scheme of things though, yeah, 51-55 is not really young. It's not old either but by that point you've probably lived at least half your life or so. You have a lot left but you've still lived half or more. Your time left is not unlimited like when you were younger, so probably best to spend it more wisely.

V00doo

When people tell me Im doing a good job with my child. Wtf.

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