Another invasion incident at the grocery store...

The check-out cashier who was friendly and efficient commented that she thought it looked like I worked out. I said that I did but I suddenly felt like she was examining me. She started making comments on my purchases... all complimentary... and laughed and said, "Don't mind me, I'm just speaking in clichés..." things like "Oh good for you, an apple a day will keep you healthy..." I wasn't sure what to say back, so I resorted to my usual silent smile.

On her store apron, she had a digital name tag that scrolled "Deneese, pronounced Denise. Pronouns: Her/She." She smiled a lot at me which felt intrusive and asked me some personal questions: "How often do you shop here," Did you find everything you wanted," and things like that. When I finally finished and was walking out, I felt like I had been invaded.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

sstronaut

How is that invasion?

Either she was attempting to flirt with you, or she was absolutely bored out of her mind and just trying to make small talk to pass the time, and/or both.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@sstronaut Well, it just seemed a bit on the intrusive side. Not malicious though... just a bit aggressive... I suppose.

sstronaut

@MarkPaul Normally what you are describing is called being friendly.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@sstronaut Well, if it was, then it just seemed like it could have been more carefully planned on her part instead of catching me off-guard.

sstronaut

@MarkPaul Seems more like a young problem.

1) You're at a grocery store... where friendly talk happens.

2) You not only went to her store, but you got in her line... were she does this friendly talk.

3) Most people like the friendly talk, as it kills time and makes things more interesting.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@sstronaut Well, I wasn't there for that, so it caught me off-guard. I'm not really faulting her. She wasn't malicious or anything, just a bit too forceful I guess you could say. So, I didn't really know what was going on. It's possible I over-reacted, I suppose. Surprisingly, I don't always pick up on social cues. Some people might consider that social anxiety. I don't really know. I just don't like to affiliate with that, I guess, but I'm not denying it either.

I'm not a fan of cashiers who are too chatty.

RunTheJulz · 46-50, F

@sstronaut I have read that it’s become more common for people to make dental/doctors appointments due to their fear of speaking to someone who they don’t know on the phone. I think it’s a side effect from having the ability to do so much through the internets and therefore small talk is becoming a bit of a lost art. I don’t know if there’s a solution other than through repetition things that are anxiety inducing become easier to deal with and find coping mechanisms for.
@MarkPaul There is no way that the cashier can know that she caught you off guard. Especially if you were smiling at her. I would say that she is just forward not “forceful”. At the very least she is friendly and most people welcome that kind of exchange in public. If she doesn’t pick up on social cues either then she might not have even realized how it might feel for you.
You’re young and I think you can become more comfortable with this kind of situation. I hope you understand I’m not intending to be judgmental. And I hope that your future interactions become more pleasant.

sstronaut

@MarkPaul If there is one, have you considered the self checkout line?

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@sstronaut Yes, yes... I use it all the time. Except this time.