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No Thanksgiving Invite for my Family from my Family

I’m a mom with 2 kiddos and a husband. I’m a little surprised at how like we are never invited to Thanksgiving on my Dad’s side of the family.
(The one I’m closest to)

My mom doesn’t really have one. But my Dad and step mom have a HUGE Thanskgiving dinner every year that my family, and my brothers family aren’t invited to.

I guess I’m just wondering if this is normal? Especially when coming from a divided family? Like my Stepmom just basically says they don’t have enough room and she invites all kinds of random people like neighbors and coworkers, homeless people puts on a huge to do… but doesn’t want US there.

My dad, you know he’s always been completely spineless so, I just often assume he doesn’t want to rock the boat. He just said one time, you’ve got plans right? You wouldn’t need to come over here for Thanksgiving? I was like sure! Ya! Okay!…. He called my brother and did the same thing…My poor brother he has absolutely no one either, no in laws or anything. We try to make plans but he prefers to hermit on that day and be alone and sulk he says….my kids also are confused and asked why we don’t spend any time with moms family on Thanksgiving.. it makes me really sad to be honest. I just don’t understand. When I have my own Thanksgiving everyone will be invited.

Any advice? Every year I catch myself crying over it, and feel just well.. left out. And sad that neither my mom or dad have a desire to see my sweet little family during the holidays. And quite frankly they don’t seem to care to or understand how that could be hurtful.
Pretzel · 61-69, M
same thing happened to me and my brother.

mom died
dad remarried a shrew and we didn't like each other

dad let her have her way most of the time

we had less contact with dad

then the wicked witc...I mean step-mom died and we had more contact with dad

it's how it is. we learned to grit our teeth around her - we were there for dad not her.

it sucks..it wasn't a good situtation - but you spend time with your loved ones when you can - and don't wait until a certain day of the year which has no real signficicance.
PEACH4LIFE · 46-50, F
I'm sure it's hurtful but start your own tradition, invite some of your friends and your husband friends that are in the same position as yourself. Or your family could go to a shelter and help feed the homeless. We volunteered one year and it was one of the best Thanksgiving I've had. Wishing you the best.
JovialMoose · 51-55, M
Maybe invite just your dad over for dinner the Sunday before?

Have a talk with him. Make your own tradition either with him or without him.
Teslin · M
It's too bad that your dad is "spineless" as you note. He should step up and invite you and your brother. So sorry.
smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F
Why don't u invite your mom if she doesn't really do thanksgiving
Bumbles · 51-55, M
I would disown him.

 
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