I Had A Major Wardrobe Malfunction

Well, if any of you members know me from EP then you know a lot about me. If not, then here it is. I love wearing leather, stilettos, platform pumps and extremely snug jeans. High waist jeans, no low rise, and the tighter the better. My favorites are my Rag City Blues zip around jeans. Have over a dozen pairs of them in different colors. Very tight, and the zipper starts in the front, goes all the way down around my crotch and ends in rear. They can be unzipped and taken apart. A real attention getter when I wear them, and it is my husband's pleasure to help me zip them shut after I wiggle into them. However, on one occasion, they got me far more attention than I wanted. I believe it was around Valentine's Day a few years ago that I was wearing these jeans when we went out shopping in the mall. I wore these jeans, a tight sweater, red stiletto pumps and underneath the jeans I was wearing a red leather heart shaped thong. That was supposed to be a surprise for later. After having something to eat and walking in the mall I wanted to go in a store. Forever 21, I believe. I told my husband to just sit outside the store and wait. He did, and I went in alone. I found an item or two I liked and got on line to pay. A few women in line and as I got close to the cashier I pulled my credit card out of my purse. And promptly dropped it. That is when disaster struck. As I stooped down to pick up my credit card, the pull on my zipper must have flipped up and unlocked. When I went to stand up, my zipper sprung open and my jeans unzipped all the way down and around my crotch. It happened so fast, and I was terrified the zipper would unzip all the way up the rear and separate. I was exposed from my navel all the way down to my thong. I got attention, but not the attention I wanted. I quickly put my purse on the counter, then covered my belly button with one hand and reached down by my crotch to grab my zipper pull and try to pull my zipper shut. All while trying to balance on heels and listen to women giggling. I managed to grab that zipper and pull it part of the way shut with one hand, but had to soon give up on covering up and use both hands. Once zipped shut I grabbed my purse and quickly exited the store. I was so embarrassed. Humiliated. I later told my husband about it and still wear those jeans. But that was only one malfunction I had. I have had many, and will save posting them for the very near future. ☘

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Korrupted · 61-69, F

Ok, my day is done and I am home. Just kicked my heels off and dinner is in the oven. About my misbehaving jeans, I forgot how many pairs I had. Just looked in the closet and took inventory. I have 4 in dark blue, 3 light blue, 3 black, 1 white, 1 red and 2 in acid was peach. Also have a pair that zips around from front to back and has full length zippers on the outside of each leg. Yikes! That is a lot of potential malfunctions! I can't recall how many times my husband and I went to the movies and, after the movie had started, it was time for him to start feeling me up in the theatre. Once he would open my jeans it was my concern as to how in the world would I ever get them shut again. Worst yet, what if that zipper should break? I am done! I would have to exit holding up two pant legs. Thankfully the zippers are heavy duty.
Well, I have some time on my hands till dinner is ready and I promised another "malfunction". Dress malfunction or halter top malfunction? Dress malfunction it is. Ok, shortly after we got married I had my breasts enhanced. A modest A cup to D cup with the addition of silicone gel. Time for new tops. I ordered an outfit from Frederick's of Hollywood. It was a strapless, full length rear zipper stretchy denim minidress. Like a miniskirt and halter in one. Came with a matching garter belt, thong, stockings and denim pumps. The price was cheap, so was the quality. I put this outfit on and had reservations about it from the start. Particularly the dress zipper. Very snug. No, tight. But form fitting and showed my curves well and I wore it around the house at least half the afternoon before we went out for a casual dinner that evening. Well, during dinner I had to make at least ten trips to the ladies room to fix my stockings. All I had to do was make the slightest movement and the garter straps would come unfastened. They popped off my stockings just walking from the car. Then my boobs started to slip out of the dress cups. I could not wait to finish eating and leave. We finally left, and that is where the real trouble started. We just walked down the steps from the restaurant and were maybe a minutes walk to the car when I felt a snap, followed by the feeling that my dress was opening. That is an understatement. The rear zipper slide had completely popped of, the dress completely opened up and fell on the ground in front of me. I almost tripped over it. We were holding hands as we were walking and I quickly tore my hand away and threw both of them over my boobs. I ran a few steps, my husband helping me, them told him to get my dress. He didn't want to, but I insisted and like a idiot stood there squiming around in just my heels, stockings and garter belt and trying to cover up with my hands. We ran to the car and I can be thankful that my dress did not pop off me in the restaurant and that it was at night and the lighting in the lot was lousy. But I felt like an idiot. But did not throw that dress away. Had a new zipper put in and still wear it. My husband calls me the clothing malfunction princess. There are a few more incidents, but will save them for another evening. ☘