Me: "Look man, you gotta treat a car like you treat a woman." Her: "Go on!" Me: "No, I think I made a mistake..."

Yeah like slamming gears and pedal to the metal. Yup that will work.

You should be excited it is sitting there waiting for you.
The door is easy to open.
It smells nice inside and out.
Beautiful to behold, fun to wash.
When you get the hood open you check all the fluids and maybe change the oil... no definitely change the oil, at least once/day. Might need to buy it some gas before you tackle that one.

You mean avoid her when you’re drunk

You gotta finish the statement if you stop your toast !!

"love her right if you want her to last" would have been the perfect cheesy romantic answer, then wink and say a smartass one and stick your tongue out at her haha