What’s your biggest kitchen fail?

Cooked a frozen pizza on the cardboard plus melted the cutter.

Whoops don’t wanna mistakenly eat your fingers instead of a carrot do we now

I probably still have a scar from slicing cantaloupe. If it weren't for my fingernail slowing down the blade I think my finger would be a quarter inch shorter.

The "8 eggs" homemade flan.
That was the main requisite that my daughters, when kids, had for every woman I dated. To know (her) how to make it.

I almost microwaved a fork with ketchup on my mooby.

My cookies

Sliced the edge of my index finger with a mandoline slicer, left a flap of skin that eventually healed up with a numb spot.