So I asked today about friendship
Mostly because I was wondering if I had the concept wrong or it was someone else.
I started talking to someone about three weeks ago. We connected really really well. He was married, so I said, "Sorry, but we can only be friends, but since we have a lot in common, friendship will be great!"
We were talking every day, long messages, sharing things. Seemed to be going good.
Then he messages me something that was shocking. I wanted to be there for him, to be a friend to talk to.
He disappeared for 2 days.
The triggering event I talked about was this. Having been ghosted by someone I deeply loved in the past and had an extremely strong connection with created a protective response. I literally stopped feeling emotions about this connection. Instead, now I was distrustful. If this was some type of weird catfish, they pulled the disappearing act way too soon and honestly, my CPTSD brain isn't going to let me get hurt.
I reached out once more, but then, literally forgot about him.
Then he finally reappeared. Said he was staying in an "unhappy marriage". Okay. I explained my feelings and the now non feelings.
He told me, "I promise. I won't disappear again."
🙄
So we started back up, but the sharing was over. He said he was exhausted and emotional, but yet, was out doing his normal stuff and asked if I would watch a video he created.
Then, the talk slowed way down.
Then 2 days passed. I saw he was online. For at least an hour. Nothing. No message. Not even a hi.
So much for promises.
So I unfriended him. Why bother? I figured he had found someone else toconnect with. Good for him!
Then he messages me to ask about my coworker. Very short. Very brief. Not really sincere. Just seeming to make small talk.
Over the night, he says, "I just noticed you unfriended me. I won't bother you anymore."
Bother me? How? How are you bothering me when you aren't even talking to me?
I told him that to become friends, you kinda need to talk to the person you want to be friends with. Then I told him my assumption of finding someone else.
His reply:
"Okay. Have a great life."
Wtf?!
You were crying about not making a connection and feeling alone, then you play these stupid games?
Sweetie...i know exactly why you are in a lonely sexless marriage. Try looking in a mirror. You are the source of your own loneliness.
I started talking to someone about three weeks ago. We connected really really well. He was married, so I said, "Sorry, but we can only be friends, but since we have a lot in common, friendship will be great!"
We were talking every day, long messages, sharing things. Seemed to be going good.
Then he messages me something that was shocking. I wanted to be there for him, to be a friend to talk to.
He disappeared for 2 days.
The triggering event I talked about was this. Having been ghosted by someone I deeply loved in the past and had an extremely strong connection with created a protective response. I literally stopped feeling emotions about this connection. Instead, now I was distrustful. If this was some type of weird catfish, they pulled the disappearing act way too soon and honestly, my CPTSD brain isn't going to let me get hurt.
I reached out once more, but then, literally forgot about him.
Then he finally reappeared. Said he was staying in an "unhappy marriage". Okay. I explained my feelings and the now non feelings.
He told me, "I promise. I won't disappear again."
🙄
So we started back up, but the sharing was over. He said he was exhausted and emotional, but yet, was out doing his normal stuff and asked if I would watch a video he created.
Then, the talk slowed way down.
Then 2 days passed. I saw he was online. For at least an hour. Nothing. No message. Not even a hi.
So much for promises.
So I unfriended him. Why bother? I figured he had found someone else toconnect with. Good for him!
Then he messages me to ask about my coworker. Very short. Very brief. Not really sincere. Just seeming to make small talk.
Over the night, he says, "I just noticed you unfriended me. I won't bother you anymore."
Bother me? How? How are you bothering me when you aren't even talking to me?
I told him that to become friends, you kinda need to talk to the person you want to be friends with. Then I told him my assumption of finding someone else.
His reply:
"Okay. Have a great life."
Wtf?!
You were crying about not making a connection and feeling alone, then you play these stupid games?
Sweetie...i know exactly why you are in a lonely sexless marriage. Try looking in a mirror. You are the source of your own loneliness.
