It’s completely understandable. I’m glad you’re not being hard on yourself, because we’ve all had moments where we regret how we reacted or wish we’d handled things differently. Nobody’s perfect. Feeling embarrassed or upset with ourselves sometimes is just part of being human, and honestly, anyone who says they never do is probably not being truthful.
DrWatson · 70-79, M
A friend once helped me understand something similar in my own life.
Breaking an attachment to an unhealthy past can feel like death, because we are mourning the loss of what was so familiar. When we are at that stage, it is hard to feel excitement about the future.
Breaking an attachment to an unhealthy past can feel like death, because we are mourning the loss of what was so familiar. When we are at that stage, it is hard to feel excitement about the future.
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
@morrgin Some stuff you can never fully understand yourself going through it.
I got divorced, raised my child alone, lost my uncle who was more like my dad than my dad, lost both my parents, lumpectomy, cancer, sold everything and lived and traveled in a van, lost my family and friends but they needed to be lost, betrayal, abuse...
It's been very confusing and unsure.
It's so hard to know what the right thing is when everything you know falls apart in your hands. You watch it slip away and wonder how you're going to make it, and because you're in the middle of it you have to do something and fast.
I never wanted to feel sorry for myself, but now I can finally feel some empathy for myself as a person who just went through a load of pain and tried her best.
I'm sorry you know the feeling, but maybe everyone does in their own way. It's just varies in harshness.
I got divorced, raised my child alone, lost my uncle who was more like my dad than my dad, lost both my parents, lumpectomy, cancer, sold everything and lived and traveled in a van, lost my family and friends but they needed to be lost, betrayal, abuse...
It's been very confusing and unsure.
It's so hard to know what the right thing is when everything you know falls apart in your hands. You watch it slip away and wonder how you're going to make it, and because you're in the middle of it you have to do something and fast.
I never wanted to feel sorry for myself, but now I can finally feel some empathy for myself as a person who just went through a load of pain and tried her best.
I'm sorry you know the feeling, but maybe everyone does in their own way. It's just varies in harshness.
morrgin · F
@ScreamingFox I'm still in the grips of betrayal and abuse from different people and family members, but very close to taking my child, getting a divorce, and raising her alone. I know if I stay in this spot my health will suffer more than it already has. I'm sure I'll make more mistakes along the way. I think everyone who has a good heart tries to make the best decisions they can at the moment they are in with what they know. Other times I think we respond to things in ways that might not look healthy from an outside view, but in reality is a perfectly normal and expected response given the situation and history.
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
@morrgin I'm sorry you're going through that and I encourage you to get away from it. Raising a child alone is hard, not gonna sugar coat it, but it's 100000x better than watching yourself decline for people that don't deserve you and letting your child(ren) believe the abusive dynamic is okay. It sucks. It's not fair what we get stuck with sometimes because a lot of people pretend to be something they aren't and you don't know until it's too late. But you are not stuck. We were born to move and groove.
Livingwell · 61-69, M
