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Ladies...gimme the the current scoop on "terms of endearment"?

Alrightee then...I'm one of those people who use terms of endearment. Especially on people I appreciate. Ever since I heard Nancy Gribble say "Sug", I made it my own and I know I'm guilty of using Sug, Sugar and Doll on some of y'all too.

Is that part of being toxic and politically incorrect now? And do you find it offensive when I or anyone else does it to you?

Gentlemen, feel free to chime in too.

I'm not a fan. I like it when someone I know says it to me with affection but, more often than not, it's done by people who either are using it in a condescending way (ex: men and women here when you disagree with someone) or use it as part of their every day speech with everyone they interact with. I had a doctor call me "dear" a few years ago. My gut reaction was an intense desire to kick the guy in his balls.
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@517284,HarryRidesTheShortBus] Totally get what you mean. I have family members that only use terms of endearment then they're insulting you.
I'm not a warm/loving person by nature but when I actually find something to like in someone (and that's rare), I tend to shower them in love 😅
Lemme know if I ever slip with you LOL
i like it when it's genuine. too often it's used forcibly & disingenuously.
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@417823,lovelywarpedlemon] I don't like that either...when it's forced it feels like those air kisses you get from that aunt that can't stand you LOL
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
As a bloke 🙄, we have to be extra careful with 'terms of endearment'. Sad to say.
When did language become the enemy of well-meaning appreciative terms of reference ?
Personally i have no problem with such terms if said to me.

You carry on hon !
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@448576,Picklebobble2] It makes me a little sad too, especially on the rare occasion I actually wanna be nice to people.
Unfortunately, we all suffer for the ones that took "friendly" too far.

Have a lovely day sweetcheeks!
[@448576,Picklebobble2] When did language become the enemy of well-meaning appreciative terms of reference ?

When men regularly used it to subjugate, sexually harass, and keep women in their place. Though it may be “well-meaning and appreciative” from some men, it’s not from others. That’s why it will always be a problem for me.
summersong · F
I love it but I’m also from the south so it’s quite common. I have to fight the urge to call people sweetie all the time 😅
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@334441,summersong] I'm not sure if she's been cancelled but I used to love watching Paula Deen for her southern drawl. Y'all are like the British, the accent makes the Sugar even sweeter!
summersong · F
[@8345,LucyFuhr] lol I lost the accent years ago, been up north too long. Now it only comes out when I’m talking to southerners 😬
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@334441,summersong] You need to work on that! That accent is as sexy as speaking in one of the romance languages [b][i]Sug![/i][/b]

And dress like the girls they used to have on HeeHaw; that works too! LOL
Nanori · 26-30, F
It's a polite thing to do in my country and I like it, it feels good to say it and also feels good to hear it
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@934648,Nanori] It's an Italian thing too.
You're one of my babies so I'm glad to hear that from you LOL
Nanori · 26-30, F
[@8345,LucyFuhr]
BlueVeins · 22-25
I like it when other people use them but I don't use them because I fear other people are gonna call me a creep... except I do call people "my dawg" which is kinda similar.
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@4199,BlueVeins] You were one of the non-ladies I had in mind when I wrote this post. I've used them on you too LOL

My nephew calls me dawg, he's been doing it since he was really young too and his mom still gets upset when he does it LMAO
BlueVeins · 22-25
[@8345,LucyFuhr] oh yeah, i call everyone terms of endearment on here lol
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@4199,BlueVeins] I don't. I save all my luv for the special ones 😉
EuphoricTurtle · 36-40, M
I use terms of endearment but it's almost exclusively insulting words.
Maybe it's a cultural thing but in my country calling someone a motherfucker right before shaking hands is a sign of how close you are to that person.
ginnyfromtheblock · 22-25, F
i think for the most part people can tell when people do it to be condescending. but i do it all the time LOL i just think it’s a nice way to tell people you care 🥺
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@1029172,ginnyfromtheblock] One of my pretty little Dolls; inside and out 🤗
It doesn’t bother me when other women use it, but I don’t like men that don’t know me thinking it’s acceptable to call me anything other than my name or Ms.
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@1027980,BananaBrown] I thought of it from the male perspective too. I wasn't sure about how it works coming from a woman. I'm kinda of a hypocrite; I'll do it to some men but if an unfamiliar man does it to me, it makes me see red LOL
RogueLoner · M
I got scolded and berated. Nothing new. 😏
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@609293,RogueLoner] I wasn't sure how it works coming from a woman but I [b][i]know[/i][/b] it's not cool coming from you guys LOL

I get it. I'm Gen X, what's considered toxic masculinity now, was a "compliment" back then.
RogueLoner · M
[@8345,LucyFuhr] Yeah, but this woman was 64. Now I just ignore. Works for me. 🙂

I'll tell you how it works coming from a woman. Just last night, I was at the grocery store, and the cute young cashier was calling me hon and sweetie and was starting conversation. I'm like...OK, what does SHE want? Well, when I got home I noticed a red paper stapled to my receipt with the name "Lindsey" hand written on it with a smiley face. Apparently the cashiers are in some kind of contest and they want customers to vote for them online. 🤭
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@609293,RogueLoner] I lavish the "love" but it's selective; I couldn't do it just to win contests.

Unless there's a cash prize 🤑

LOL
My husband uses them on me and I call him lying dawg. Its good for a laugh.
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@1189039,mondayschild2] I know some men who consider "lying dawg" a compliment LOL
I love sug. It's one of my to toe's. Alongside love and duck lol
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@607935,HijabaDabbaDoo] Awww...duck is cute! I like "bunny" too
SW User
Ah, I use babe all the time
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@949508,V00dooCakeNinja] I've even gone as far as calling you cupcake and telling you ily LOL I probably wouldn't stop even if you asked me to 🤗 LOL
Piper · 61-69, F
I don't think much has changed, really, about when endearments are perceived to be actual ones. It's always been about just who is using one, and the [i]way[/i] they say it.
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@1999,Dolimyte] Agreed!
I've used "[b][i]Honey[/i][/b]" to mean the nastiest of things LOL

 
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