Ladies...gimme the the current scoop on "terms of endearment"?
Alrightee then...I'm one of those people who use terms of endearment. Especially on people I appreciate. Ever since I heard Nancy Gribble say "Sug", I made it my own and I know I'm guilty of using Sug, Sugar and Doll on some of y'all too.
Is that part of being toxic and politically incorrect now? And do you find it offensive when I or anyone else does it to you?
I like it when other people use them but I don't use them because I fear other people are gonna call me a creep... except I do call people "my dawg" which is kinda similar.
As a bloke 🙄, we have to be extra careful with 'terms of endearment'. Sad to say. When did language become the enemy of well-meaning appreciative terms of reference ? Personally i have no problem with such terms if said to me.
@Picklebobble2 It makes me a little sad too, especially on the rare occasion I actually wanna be nice to people. Unfortunately, we all suffer for the ones that took "friendly" too far.
@Picklebobble2 When did language become the enemy of well-meaning appreciative terms of reference ?
When men regularly used it to subjugate, sexually harass, and keep women in their place. Though it may be “well-meaning and appreciative” from some men, it’s not from others. That’s why it will always be a problem for me.
@summersong I'm not sure if she's been cancelled but I used to love watching Paula Deen for her southern drawl. Y'all are like the British, the accent makes the Sugar even sweeter!
i think for the most part people can tell when people do it to be condescending. but i do it all the time LOL i just think it’s a nice way to tell people you care 🥺
It doesn’t bother me when other women use it, but I don’t like men that don’t know me thinking it’s acceptable to call me anything other than my name or Ms.
@BananaBrown I thought of it from the male perspective too. I wasn't sure about how it works coming from a woman. I'm kinda of a hypocrite; I'll do it to some men but if an unfamiliar man does it to me, it makes me see red LOL
I don't think much has changed, really, about when endearments are perceived to be actual ones. It's always been about just who is using one, and the way they say it.
@mondayschild2 I know some men who consider "lying dawg" a compliment LOL
SW-User
I'm not a fan. I like it when someone I know says it to me with affection but, more often than not, it's done by people who either are using it in a condescending way (ex: men and women here when you disagree with someone) or use it as part of their every day speech with everyone they interact with. I had a doctor call me "dear" a few years ago. My gut reaction was an intense desire to kick the guy in his balls.
@SW-User Totally get what you mean. I have family members that only use terms of endearment then they're insulting you. I'm not a warm/loving person by nature but when I actually find something to like in someone (and that's rare), I tend to shower them in love 😅 Lemme know if I ever slip with you LOL
I use terms of endearment but it's almost exclusively insulting words. Maybe it's a cultural thing but in my country calling someone a motherfucker right before shaking hands is a sign of how close you are to that person.
