I feel like a disappointment

College application season just started and I applied for 2 state universities and I know I'm a dumbass for only applying for two. Ofc I shouldn't be expecting much, I didn't get in to any of them. One I didn't meet the cut-off and number two I wasn't a priority. I applied to a private one, I'm the youngest in our family so I'm quite short on funds since my siblings are already studying at private universities and are not finishing any time now. My mom had to get a loan just to put me in one. I submitted a letter of reconsideration to one of the schools just for a chance to get in. Through God's grace I got in but not in the course I wanted since the university chose it for me and I was able to withdraw the application for the private university. This course is about to dissolve and I should be transferring in my 1st year to a course that I actually like (with a promise to have a reasonable grade to shift). At the beginning I was really happy. Knowing I wouldn't be or we wouldn't be in debt and go through college receiving education for free. Now it sank into me that my friends are gonna get a head start or finish before me. Having their dream courses being able to study their passions while I have to endure. I feel bad for my self, what if I passed in the first place and got my desired course? What if I did better? It's too late to regret now but I just wanted to let this out. I'll get through it. I hope.

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dancingtongue · 80-89, M

A couple of real-life stories that might put things in perspective for you. My youngest applied to only one college because it had the program he really wanted to be in. Got put on a wait list. They suggested an alternative major that essentially covered all the same subject matter but towards a different degree, and they had openings so he took it. Once in it, he was happy with it and got his degree in it. When he applied for the job he really wanted in the field he really wanted, they said they only hired those with yet a third degree. He asked them why they limited their prospects to such a narrow number of applicants since, in his humble opinion, he actually had a more relevant education than those with that degree. They hired him. That's some 30 years ago and he considering retiring soon after a fulfilling career.

Second story. My grandson is somewhat of a math prodigy. Was participating in math competitions against college students when he was still in middle school, let alone high school. Figured he had his choice of schools. His first choice had no openings. His second, MIT, put him on a wait list. His fallbacks -- UC Berkeley and Stanford where he had spent a lot of time on their campuses -- wanted him only if he majored in math, and he didn't want to be pigeonholed as a math theorist/teacher; he wanted to major in the application and use of mathematics to solve problems and needs. It was a humbling experience, but he would up in a major at a university he enjoys and is hanging around for another semester before graduating although he could have graduated in June at the end of his Junior year. And the tech world has had him on their radar for a long time; he has been consulting with one since high school.

Moral: follow your heart's desires and your gut instincts; not peer pressure or what institutions are dictating to you.

SomeMichGuy · M

@dancingtongue The correct match is important.

scorpiolovedeep · 46-50, M

It is not to late.
Could you alter your course contents?

My son had done a similar thing. He initially enrolled for Mechatronics and then for some reason lost confidence and motivation.

He even missed one semester and now changed into.Comp.science.

This is not the end of life.
In 20 years, you will be in a job with a lovely family.

Be positive, do not put down yourself.
Hope you get through this.

Onasander · 41-45, M

It's time to admit defeat and join the Marines as a Infantry Grunt.

SomeMichGuy · M

I think you need to focus on the positives.

What course of study do you WANT to complete?

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