I feel like a disappointment
College application season just started and I applied for 2 state universities and I know I'm a dumbass for only applying for two. Ofc I shouldn't be expecting much, I didn't get in to any of them. One I didn't meet the cut-off and number two I wasn't a priority. I applied to a private one, I'm the youngest in our family so I'm quite short on funds since my siblings are already studying at private universities and are not finishing any time now. My mom had to get a loan just to put me in one. I submitted a letter of reconsideration to one of the schools just for a chance to get in. Through God's grace I got in but not in the course I wanted since the university chose it for me and I was able to withdraw the application for the private university. This course is about to dissolve and I should be transferring in my 1st year to a course that I actually like (with a promise to have a reasonable grade to shift). At the beginning I was really happy. Knowing I wouldn't be or we wouldn't be in debt and go through college receiving education for free. Now it sank into me that my friends are gonna get a head start or finish before me. Having their dream courses being able to study their passions while I have to endure. I feel bad for my self, what if I passed in the first place and got my desired course? What if I did better? It's too late to regret now but I just wanted to let this out. I'll get through it. I hope.