Well…I just jerked off a university police officer literally to avoid getting a parking citation

@Glassysky well it was that or pay a $100 citation, and I have the dignity to not use my body but my hand to do the deed.

@Jokekilla bro u gay asf

@Glassysky ur mom 😛

@SW-User I know 🙃 never thought this would happen but it does

@SW-User u should be jerking me off

@Glassysky true

I totally should be

@SW-User it was so stupid, so I my university there are parking zones and since I’m awesome I have zone 2 (zone 3 is for professors) well, my dumbass didn’t see that where I parked was zone 3 but no where did it say that it was zone 3 😞 so yeah

@MartinTheFirst literally.