How to communicate with someone that believes you are the problem

It’s been really frustrating lately. Often when I say something to my wife she jumps to conclusions about what I’m trying to say and my motivations ( which she claims are mostly negative). Doesn’t matter if I try to clarify or tell that isn’t what I’m talking about nor was it my intention. At that point it no longer matters to her what I was trying to say and she get even more angry that I’m still talking about it.

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Longpatrol · 31-35, M

Damn that's tough dude. For some reason she's feeling defensive. Has there at any time recently, or perhaps for a long time that you've dismissed what she says?

Now I'm not saying you the problem, takes two hands to clap is all I'm saying.

You might want to let her know its happening. Seriously, let her erupt if she has too, at least you'll know if the issue is you, and while we can't change us much, without knowing where the rocks are we can't attempt to steer past them.

djjohnson · 41-45, M

@Longpatrol dismissed what she says? She says that I do but anytime I ask follow-up questions to better understand her she gets mad at me. so since I don’t understand her and she isn’t willing to clarify, I’m left with no choice but to dismiss it.