Upset
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Who is in the wrong here?

Maybe it's neither, I don't know... but it's annoying and I need to vent 😅

I am a very punctual person. Not only is it polite, it's just not that difficult... If I'm meeting someone somewhere, I look up how far it is, how long it will take to travel there, so I know what time I have to leave.

I have a friend who is always late for everything. I wave it off but it is getting really annoying. Others have told me 'just get there late yourself' but two wrongs don't make a right 😂 The point of agreeing a time is... you stick to that time.

What's worse is they always arrive and say 'sorry, have you been here long?' YES! Exactly as long as how late you are 😠

Yesterday they arrived 45 minutes after I had arrived (and I got there 15 minutes late, as it was as long past the agreed meeting time that I could comfortably allow myself to be!)
Fluffybull · F Best Comment
I wouldn't wait 45 minutes for anyone. Anyone who is consistently late is selfish, inconsiderate and (maybe) unconsciously resentful about being there at all. Waiting for late people is just rewarding bad behaviour.

SunshineGirl · 36-40, F
Lateness is inconsiderate and rude. I make allowances for people with young children or other family commitments (for them, timeliness is an aspuration rather than a realistic prospect), but I am fairly direct with everyone else.

At work I once refused to deal any further with a client who was persistently and purposely late for teleconferences. He was using lateness and the implication that his time was more valuable than mine as a way asserting himself over someone he clearly considered to be inferior (a young woman in her 20s). But he'd misjudged the relationship and balance of power completely (he needed me a lot more than I needed him) and backed himself into a corner 🙂
gdon39 · 46-50, M
As many have said before, if you aren’t early then you are late.

People who show up late (45 minutes is so rude) are declaring that your time has less value than their time.

You are so right and I don’t know how you are putting up with that disrespectful nonsense.
SW-User
Yeah, nah. Someone has me waiting around for 45 minutes without a good excuse and I don't make plans with that person again.

I wouldn't particularly feel great about standing around like an idiot.

5 minutes, that's acceptable. 45? Damn.
Barny52 · 56-60, M
I let it go once then next time i leave before they arrive , i works well if they are wanting a lift
Krysclear · 31-35, F
I agree. Not only is it disrespectful but it’s a signal that they don’t consider your time to be valuable!!
SW-User
I'm a punctual person too and yea it could be annoying.
SW-User
I hate being late. I'm not sure I'd wait 45 minutes.
SW-User
45 minutes is actually too much. Kinda shows disrespect for you, unless they had a good reason of course.

But i must say you're lucky you dont live here coz here, if people agree on 2 o'clock it usually means 2:15. Kinda understood thing lol. Foreigners are always pissed off by that 😂
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
If they don't let you know then they most certainly are being rude. Literally everyone has access to a cellphone now days, if not have one themselves.

Heck the old company I worked for gave me a cellphone just for work purposes only. If anyone was going to be late they either emailed, texted or called. I worked in remote areas. I could be anywhere at anytime. Even on my way to the shop from any particular site.

I was just a lowly rover.
helsbels · 31-35, F
@DeWayfarer Occasionally I'll get a message, but not early enough that I'm not already on my way 🤷‍♀️
SW-User
With those sorts of people, you have to arrive 1 hour late or so. Just try it once or twice. Let them wait. That's how they will grow. It helps them see things from the other's perspective.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but life is not meant to be perfect and we can never be always right. Might as well be selective about our "wrongs".
helsbels · 31-35, F
@SW-User I could get there an hour late and still arrive first sometimes 😅

I get what you're saying but I can't bring myself to do it, it just isn't natural to me. As someone said below, it makes it seem that the other person's time is less valuable than yours.

All I can do is mention it next time I suppose, and say how rude I find it. It's not that I think they do it deliberatly though, they are just a less organised person. Some people are very intelligent but have no common sense, or are very good at puzzles but no good at physical stuff. It's just a fact of who they are.
SW-User
@helsbels Then get 2 hours late 😏

Personally it's an affective way for me. Mirroring their actions work better than words. It is good to step out of your comfort zone at times.
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
@helsbels
All I can do is mention it next time I suppose, and say how rude I find it.
Are you implying that you haven't already done this?

I would have at least asked them why they were late the very first time, just an offhand "What held you up?" if I was not especially inconvenienced or something rather more pointed if I had been.
I was raised to be punctual, and I give myself traffic or "getting lost” time if going to a new location. My father used to say never being late makes a good impression in general, as well as shooting down certain stereotypes. 🙂
ShadowWolf · 31-35, M
You aren’t wrong. Lateness is rude. People need to plan better. 10 min grace period tops in my book.
My now ex gf was always poor at communicating and typically 20-60 mins late for things. It’s one of the reasons I dumped her.
Unlearn · 41-45, M
I hate waiting...
Teslin · M
Yes, an hour late is definitely wrong, unless they have a legitimate reason.
Plus, they can always reach out to you to tell you they are going to be late so you do not waste your time.
Get there late yourself or twiddle your thumbs. Trying to advise a grown adult to be punctual is not going to work
Your friend does not respect others' time; she thinks her breaths and moments are more important than anyone else's.
MissyChrissy · 18-21, F
I understand you so well, Ma'am. Some people never can be punctual and its so annoying!
FloorGenAdm · 51-55, M
[media=https://youtu.be/h16DmdQvxB0]
romell · 51-55, M
You get ..ucked when you let someone guck you ...so enjoy n they' won't change time to kick ass and you shower rose petals all the best
Fluffybull · F
Thanks for BC ☺️🤗
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
It’s very rude and I can stand people that are late. I do the same as you, if I have never been to the place I look up the directions and how long it will take to get there.

I wouldn’t be meeting them again if they are going to waste my time like that.

 
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