Does anyone know how to care for an elderly person whose stubbornness is affecting their health and life?

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DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

Having taken care of both parents I don't recommend the health care system.

They only care about the money.

With my father he had to because of morphine pump. Fortunately it was only a week.

With mom I had no options. Neither she nor I want her to go, however I was out voted in the decision. Three of my elder siblings didn't believe I could handle it.

They were wrong. I had been handling it already for a year.

Two weeks later mom passed away.

That's how bad the health care system is. Mom begged with all of us no not put her in hospice. She could have easily lasted a few months more with me, if not another year.

Royricky09

@DeWayfarer I'm really sorry for your loss. ☹

Jessmari · 46-50

@DeWayfarer My moms last visit was pushing to put her in a nursing home on her last visit. Went full death scare. Went full she was going to die in 2 weeks. I knew she was just having a bad day and that was too drastic.I was right. She is adamant about not going into a nursing home and has expressed that multiple times to her doctor. She is doing fine and this was 2 months ago.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@Jessmari my siblings just didn't like the optics of the situation since I had to monitor her getting in and out of the bath tub. Geesh killing your own parent over such a thing. I was already over forty.

Royricky09

@DeWayfarer I completely understand.

Jessmari · 46-50

@DeWayfarer That is such a common issue though. I bought her a shower chair that hangs over the side of the tub just for that situation. When done place I place it into the tub.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@Jessmari getting her in and out would still be a problem. She had sores on her legs that needed care.

Jessmari · 46-50

@DeWayfarer I'm not sure what the situation is there, but you can have nurses come to treat things like that.

Jessmari · 46-50

@Jessmari I just realized your mom passed. Sorry about that lapse in reading

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@Jessmari hmm I had been doing her treatments on her legs for that whole year. She really needed a physical therapist. She wasn't getting enough exercise.

Jessmari · 46-50

@DeWayfarer That's where I am now. She has had PT and OT's come in for a short time and now it's up to me to have her carry on the instructions. I'm used to it but there days when she's not about it. Not regularly though thankfully.

Royricky09

@DeWayfarer do they not have physiotherapy?

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@Royricky09 they just let her sit in bed. I had no control over the situation because of my older siblings.

Jessmari · 46-50

@DeWayfarer That's just sad and ignorant. My mom has neuropathy in her legs and I can't let her just sit around all the time.