Does anyone know how to care for an elderly person whose stubbornness is affecting their health and life?

@whowasthatmaskedman

"..drag you down with them" is putting it mildly, but pretty much says it all.

@whowasthatmaskedman what if that person is your parent,would your opinion change?

@Royricky09 As a couple, we managed both my mother and my mother in law in our own home through mental and physical decline. My mother in law stayed with us and passed away in our home. She hated the idea of a hospital. That was 3 years of hell, trying to raise children in that environment. Later, my mother joined us and stayed a couple of years until be became convinced my wife was plotting to kill her. So she happily moved to a dementia care unit. and I visited her there...In the end she had the classic fall and broken hip and passed shortly after.
Then my own wife has developed a dementia of her own and I have beem managing her more and more. We had to stop her driving pre Covid, but had to leave her car "Broken down" in the driveway, so she thought it was temporary. Covid was actually a blessing managing her, because I left the house to shop and we 'isolated ' together. I took all the housework and cooking. No big deal.. But in the end we had to address urgwent medical issues for her and these triggered a decline beyond my capability to manage her. So she is now in dementia care in her own world, where I am a visitor.
So to answer you. My opinion is based on deeply personal experience..😷

@whowasthatmaskedman thanks.... Hope she gets better soon.

My father was paralysed for about 15 years.

@Royricky09 People dont "Get Better" from dementia. It is what it is. But we had 50 good years and that is my focus.😷

@whowasthatmaskedman
Looking back to where it all got started with your mother in law, followed by your own mother, then of course with your wife to follow, what would you have done differently if only you knew then what you know now?

I know we can't go back and do it over again and adjust the story to our liking, but what would you tell your younger-self if you could now communicate with that younger guy?

@swirlie No.. We built our house with the view to housing our parents from the start. Its just a common value we had. Her mother was always terrified of hospitals. We just didnt plan for the mental deterioration. As for me, my lifes goal is to get to the other end with as little regret as possible. So doing all we could was the only option..😷

@whowasthatmaskedman
At least you can sleep at night knowing that you have no regrets from 'not' doing what you wished you'd otherwise done, since you did all that you possibly could to accommodate each situation you were faced with.

@swirlie Exactly. 😷

@swirlie
Very well said and very insightful. I'm humbly impressed.