I hate feeling like everyone is up to something better than what I’m experiencing. Other people’s lives look like they’re a part of something;a story.

It’s so fascinating...I get jealous because I feel like I’m missing out. I feel like my life is such a dud. I keep thinkin “if this” was like “that” and “that” like “this”then I’d have a story too... When I was younger I felt like I meant something. Like I was a part of something and I had a story to tell...I lost it somewhere. I feel so alone. Maybe it’s all this isolating from covid shut downs getting to me. I dunno. I feel like I’m not goin anywhere. I don’t belong to anything special or fun anymore. No ones admiring me. Like no one cares. I’m just chasing ghosts. I’m passing through each moment waiting to be somewhere....*sigh* I guess it doesn’t matter either way... I’m just tired of feeling like I’m on the outside looking in, like I’m doin something wrong, like I’m missing something