Ever face something so horrible you can't accept it?

My dad is dying from aggressive cancer. They wouldn't do chemo because he is already compromised being bed bound before his diagnosis, having a blood clot last year and being a stroke victim. They said chemo will kill someone with aggressive cancer , who is compromised, before the actual disease does.

This was VERY DIFFICULT to accept. Knowing he still could have possibly tried chemo, but that it was a "high chance" he'd get so sick he'd die sooner. It's just horrible this life sometimes. My dad just turned 72. He's in hospice now and was so miserable tonight..moaning and unable to articulate what he wanted to say. This is the first night it's happened we couldn't understand him. 😟I guess they said if he did do chemo it would have only provided a month more for him..but he'd be even more ill .
I'm not religious so I wish I knew when he passes, what will happen. I'm trying to remind myself his spirit will always be here. He will live on with me, and maybe another realm, who knows?? Thanks for hearing me vent. It's been agonizing facing this all so fast.Im trying to accept it but it's truly hard.