Simply heart wrenching
Tonight was the worst night I've seen my dad in hospice. It's been nine days today, and I still can't fathom all of this happening 🙁 He was only diagnosed nearly one month ago with aggressive Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
He typically has been able to talk a bit during the day, then fall asleep several hours from fatigue, then talk a couple minutes more at night. Tonight however we could barely stir him awake. And everything he tried to say was so weak we couldn't understand. It was painstaking tonight. No one deserves this in their body.
I told him I know how difficult this has been, and he made a sad face...most of the time he can hear.
The only thing I could clearly hear was after a pill he took, he said "I hate this. " And I said "you mean everything? " And he said yes.
I almost don't want him to live another day of this miserable state. But I more do want him to hold out a couple more days. It's been so hard facing this fast awful shitty diagnosis. How I hope tomorrow he can speak a bit better, but I need a miracle. 😞
He typically has been able to talk a bit during the day, then fall asleep several hours from fatigue, then talk a couple minutes more at night. Tonight however we could barely stir him awake. And everything he tried to say was so weak we couldn't understand. It was painstaking tonight. No one deserves this in their body.
I told him I know how difficult this has been, and he made a sad face...most of the time he can hear.
The only thing I could clearly hear was after a pill he took, he said "I hate this. " And I said "you mean everything? " And he said yes.
I almost don't want him to live another day of this miserable state. But I more do want him to hold out a couple more days. It's been so hard facing this fast awful shitty diagnosis. How I hope tomorrow he can speak a bit better, but I need a miracle. 😞
