Nothing matters
Since my dad entered hospice a few days ago, everything has been mundane to me and sad. I didn't watch any of The Grammys the other night, and that's a first. I thought how trivial it was when I saw pics the following day online of fashion there. 😞 The Olympics are beginning this week, and I don't care, and my home team The Patriots are going to the Superbowl this weekend, and I'm not really excited. It's all a blur.
My dad and I were not close but he was the only parent I could occasionally bring up an issue to. And he could pass now anytime 🙁 (aggressive Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma). And what makes me sadder, besides the fact they did not recommend chemo Bec it would kill him sooner, is that he told my mom today, "I think I'm going to get better". It was HEARTBREAKING to hear it. They took him off the steroids too, the one thing that could at least cause less inflammation. His legs have purple bruises now, and fluid filled feet. It's just awful. I wish I could find joy but it's very hard right now.
My dad and I were not close but he was the only parent I could occasionally bring up an issue to. And he could pass now anytime 🙁 (aggressive Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma). And what makes me sadder, besides the fact they did not recommend chemo Bec it would kill him sooner, is that he told my mom today, "I think I'm going to get better". It was HEARTBREAKING to hear it. They took him off the steroids too, the one thing that could at least cause less inflammation. His legs have purple bruises now, and fluid filled feet. It's just awful. I wish I could find joy but it's very hard right now.
