Upset
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I have a tumor..

A fue weeks ago a did a post called "I may or may not have lymphedema". A lot of people said "Get checked, it's probably nothing, you a very young.."
Well I started checking it out with doctors, and it turns out it's a tumor, it's also quite big and located in a dangerous zone, in worst case scenario, I may have to get my arm amputated....
I have been crying none stop, trying my best to live life as normal as I can, trying to convince myself it might not be cancer, it might not be a bad tumor...
But it getting harder and harder, I just fear the worst, living life with almost to mo care in the world, all of a sudden I am in danger of dying and losing an arm.
Biopsy hasn't been done yet, I have to wait for that to be sure if it's a bad tumor or not... But the fear for the worst is eating me alive. I can barely eat, I have never been someone who eat much but since all this started I noticed I eat maybe one or half a meal per day, I can't enjoy things I use to, movies, videogames or going out with friends because all I can think about is 'Cancer, Cancer, you might die on a terrible way soon, you might get an arm amputated, what are you gonna do? You might suffer terribly"
I feel like I am in a constant state of dream, like none of this is real. It's all going by so fast but at the same time I just wanna come out at the other side as soon as possible, get it over with and be done, with two or one arm.. just get it over with as soon as possible. But I also wanna stop time, and have nothing change, make everything stay the way they are now. Everyone saying I can lean on them, and I don't even know if I want to. Sometimes I wonder if seeing a particular friend might help, or spending a night at a friend's house might help take my mind of things, at least for a while... But god I am so terrified of everything.
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It is a natural reaction to be afraid and I'm so sorry about your diagnosis. I will keep you in my prayers. I know God can work miracles. I'll be praying for one for you. That you won't have to have your arm taken off and that your tumor is not cancerous. A lot of times they are not.

I know it's very hard when you're scared to not think about it, but I will pray about that as well. Watch positive things on YouTube and try to keep your mind focused on Christ. There's a verse that says, "Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee." That has always helped me tremendously, in my hardest times. We can't think of two things at once, so if you stay in prayer and keep your mind on Christ, I believe God will bring peace to your mind and heart. I will pray for you in all these things. Also to occupy your time, and your mind, I would ask you to look up every one of the healing verses in the Bible if you will, and read them all. I have done this and it has given me great hope in the past and even healing. There are about 171 healing verses in the Bible. I will also ask you to watch the following video. I know you will love it and it will give you great hope and peace. I have watched it so many times and it never fails to give me joy and peace and I pray we'll do the same for you. Please do watch it. You will not be sorry. It will give you great hope and rightly so.

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