Upset
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I have a tumor..

A fue weeks ago a did a post called "I may or may not have lymphedema". A lot of people said "Get checked, it's probably nothing, you a very young.."
Well I started checking it out with doctors, and it turns out it's a tumor, it's also quite big and located in a dangerous zone, in worst case scenario, I may have to get my arm amputated....
I have been crying none stop, trying my best to live life as normal as I can, trying to convince myself it might not be cancer, it might not be a bad tumor...
But it getting harder and harder, I just fear the worst, living life with almost to mo care in the world, all of a sudden I am in danger of dying and losing an arm.
Biopsy hasn't been done yet, I have to wait for that to be sure if it's a bad tumor or not... But the fear for the worst is eating me alive. I can barely eat, I have never been someone who eat much but since all this started I noticed I eat maybe one or half a meal per day, I can't enjoy things I use to, movies, videogames or going out with friends because all I can think about is 'Cancer, Cancer, you might die on a terrible way soon, you might get an arm amputated, what are you gonna do? You might suffer terribly"
I feel like I am in a constant state of dream, like none of this is real. It's all going by so fast but at the same time I just wanna come out at the other side as soon as possible, get it over with and be done, with two or one arm.. just get it over with as soon as possible. But I also wanna stop time, and have nothing change, make everything stay the way they are now. Everyone saying I can lean on them, and I don't even know if I want to. Sometimes I wonder if seeing a particular friend might help, or spending a night at a friend's house might help take my mind of things, at least for a while... But god I am so terrified of everything.
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
goodlil666 · 51-55, M
Will pray for you and that everything comes out the best for you. But in the mean time, live life like there is no tomorrow . Don't dwell on what you can't change. Make the most of what you have right now. Yes, spend more time with family and friends . Create happy memories and good times. Do some things you always wanted to but never took the time. Then when the time comes face whatever comes up head on. Grit your teeth and don't let it get in your mind it is going to beat you. You have to kick it's ass. That attitude will get you a long ways.

I have an incurable degenerative disease of the central nervous system . Parkinson's. That will shorten my life by at least 20 yrs. But I consider mine a blessing. I have known I have had it for years and it is ever present in my mind ...and body. I try to make the most of my time here by spending quality time with family and friends creating great memories and enjoying this short ride on this big spinning rock. I appreciate and enjoy all the beauty around me and try to pass that on. So I have had a big advantage not letting me forget my shortened ride by my long-term affliction allowing me the insight to cram as much living into this life as I can.

Keep your chin up, get lost in some music, enjoy your friends and family and don't be afraid of the future . Best wishes. Bless you.